Northern Lights
by pprMACHEheart
Summary: What would happen if Jacob never imprinted on Nessie? And what would happen if, after Jasper's almost attack on Bella, his relationship with Alice was never same? With all the talk of singers & imprinting, they're missing the bigger picture. OC AU Post BD
1. Prologue

Okay, so this is my first fanfic on here. I've written previous stories elsewhere, but we'll leave those behind me for the moment. Please be gentle. Anyone that wants to be my BETA I would greatly appreciate it; I know my writing isn't perfect.

Before I get too long winded, I want to give a special thanks to my friend Diana for sticking by me on this and harassing me until I posted it. I hope others like it as much as we do, otherwise we're crazy. =)

***All characters are property of the glorious Stephenie Meyer. Story concept, however, is mine.**

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**Prologue**

Ever thought the universe figured that your life was nothing more than a cruel joke? Something to play with, a toy of sorts? Well, I was sure that was what I was created to be: a perpetual joke, a life for some higher being to take enjoyment from and for me to constantly suffer. Nothing would ever be my own, my existence included. I was sure this is what I was destined to be, alone and bitter, not to mention an eternal sixteen and a half year old shape shifter. I should be accustomed to losing things, first my mother at the age of five, my active father; since he can no longer use his legs, the love of my life to _death_, and the thing that would end it all, death itself. I couldn't die, but after meeting her I wasn't sure I wanted to anymore. The desire was fleeting.

I never thought love would find me, imprint yes, love no. It just did not seem like something I wanted to take part in ever again. And I never had the desire to imprint on anyone, the whole concept seemed forced and unnatural (I suppose to my human self, I had that notion right, but the wolf in me said otherwise). I had tried to the best of my ability to move on from Bella, but it appeared like the more I tried to fake it until I made it, the worse off I was. I wasn't me anymore; the carefree Jacob that I used to be and I missed my old self (pitiful, I know). Then she happened and I was able smile and laugh again. Too bad it was short lived. Death lurked around the corner without me even knowing; I was blind to it all, she was all I saw.

Then I lost her, just as quickly as I had her. And almost after giving up hope, the universe decided to give me a break, and allow her back in my life again; only she was different. I hadn't ever given much thought to a life without her, after I met her, yet here I was contemplating just that, again. I was always the one left contemplating crap like this. Doesn't this damn imprint mean anything to anyone else but me? Don't the Great Spirits or who the hell ever is in charge of the whole imprinting process have an ounce of control over this? Why is this happening, again? Hasn't the pain that I've suffered over the last five years meant anything to them?

Tears pricked at my eyes as I stare at the choice before hand; either I attempt end myself so I don't have to entertain a life without her or watch her die and take what's left of my heart with her. I wouldn't be able to deal with death taking someone else from me, I didn't have the strength.

I hadn't planned on loving her or anyone for that matter after Bella, and I was in too deep trying to keep my head above water; hoping that in the horizon there would be a ray of hope to drag me from the murky waters that threatened to consume my whole being.


	2. Lonely in Seattle & Accidental Falls

Chapter 1

There is no pain, you are receding.  
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.  
You are only coming through in waves.  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.  
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,  
Out of the corner of my eye.  
I turned to look but it was gone.  
I cannot put my finger on it now.  
The child is grown, the dream is gone.  
I have become comfortably numb.

Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

Naiomi-

Here I was in downtown Seattle, the tourist district, pain-in-the-butt-customer central and the place in which I worked my nights away. The coffee shop was the only place that accepted eccentric behavior, paid a decent wage, and let a dance student, such as myself, pirouette around the shop serving customers-in the literal sense. Doing a little "song and dance" for each customer seemed to earn me a couple extra dollars in tips; it didn't ever hurt to have extra money on hand.

Closing time was drawing near, as I finally let myself down from the points of my Pointe shoes and walked over to the register to begin locking up.

"Naiomi, one of these days we're going to need to put together a talent night, so that the staff can showcase their talents. I know you can do more than ballet," My boss, Shelley, said before continuing to mop the floor.

"Sure, sounds like a good idea to get more customers in here soon," I agreed before placing my apron on the hooks by the entrance of the kitchen. I walked on the points of my toes to the sink to wash the cups and plates used by the customers today. Pliéing as I allowed myself to come down from my stance, my mind began to wander as I attended to my task.

I'm a nineteen year old, native New Yorker trapped in the confines of Seattle, trying to get as far away from my screwed up parents as possible. Coming here to pursue my degree in dance was the best decision I had ever made, no disgruntled parents in tow. Living in Seattle has made me numb to all the things I've left behind, I've learned to rely on myself and myself alone. What other choice do you have when you've practically raised yourself?

Finishing the dishes as I pulled myself from my thoughts, I dried them and stacked them for tomorrow.

"Shelley, you don't mind me serving people with my Pointe shoes on do you?" I had always wondered if this would cause her to fire me someday.

As I began shutting the lights off, she replied. "Not at all Naiomi, you know we're all a little . . . um, weird here." Shelley chuckled while turning her head to the side to display the piercings that resided in her dimple, then proceeded to throw me my sweater from the coat rack. Her statement was true though, we were all a bit out there, then again we all either study the arts or have mass amounts of it displayed on our bodies.

Smiling in agreement as we waltzed out the shop and onto the now darkened Seattle streets, we parted ways and I proceeded to jog to my car, hoping to get home before twelve and attempt to get more sleep than I had been getting.

Arriving at my beat up purple Neon, a chill resonated through my body and my scalp began to prickle; an eerie feeling of being watched came over me. I glanced around, futilely, because it was too dark for me to make out anything. Not giving myself a second chance to creep myself out further I hopped in my car and speed away.

On a night when bad dreams become a screamer  
When they're messin' with a dreamer  
I can laugh it in the face  
Twist and shout my way out  
And wrap yourself around me  
'Cause I ain't the way you found me  
And I'll never be the same oh yeah . .

You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates

Arriving on campus the next morning boggled down with a poster board regarding the history of Pointe shoes, my book bag hanging from my shoulders, my yellow Pointe shoes dangled from my finger tips, as I rushed through campus trying to get to my destination without falling or running into anyone; ballerinas grace was almost a myth when it came to me. My vision was impaired due to this damn poster board blocking my view.

"Umph," was all I managed to hear escape my lips as I went falling backwards onto my rear end; my things scattered around me. I had run into something that felt like a heated brick wall. I glanced up through my disheveled curls that now marred my vision and into the face of the most handsome guy I have ever laid eyes on in my nineteen years of life.

Damn it and here I was sitting on my tush on the ground. I said a silent prayer, hoping that my sweater dress had managed to stay down over my leotard, before I brushed my out of control curls back and glanced down at my legs. Thank God, I hadn't shamed myself in front of him anymore than I already had.

"I'm sorry, let me help you." He smirked while gathering my toe shoes and what I assumed are the books that he dropped.

"Yea, uh . . . I'm sorry too. I couldn't really see where I was going." I confessed as I felt my cheeks warm a bit in delayed embarrassment, as I took in his features; he was no doubt Native American, extremely tall, with a beautiful facial structure.

"It's okay, I was in a bit of a rush too," he spoke while placing our things on a near by bench before coming back to stand above me, offering me his hand. "Come on, up you go," he said while effortlessly pulling me to my feet.

"Thanks, um . . .?" I didn't know his name and I was hoping to find out who the handsome young man was who helped me up off my clumsy ass.

"Jacob. And you are?" He smirked knowingly, probably seeing right through my reason for wanting to know his name.

"Naiomi," once again feeling a familiar blush creep up on my cheeks.

"Well Naiomi . . . since we ran into each other, the least I can do is walk you to class."

Before long we were off to my first class of the day and for once in a long time, I was glad to have someone to talk to; maybe I need to rethink this whole being alone thing.


	3. Persistent Blushes & Yellow Ballet Shoes

Chapter 2

I'll keep your memory vague  
so you wont feel bad about me  
I'll say the things that you said  
sometimes so it reminds me  
I'll keep your memory vague  
so you wont feel bad about me  
I'll say the things that you said  
sometimes so it reminds me

Now you're gone away  
don't worry it's okay  
that you're gone away  
Now you're gone away  
Further then yesterday  
But you'll never leave these scenes  
my mind replays

I'll Keep Your Memory Vague by F1NGER Eleven

Jacob-

Today was just one of those days and I couldn't get Bella off my mind. It had been five years since she married Edward, had Renesmee, and I was forever destined to be the best friend left waiting in the wings. It isn't as if I haven't tried to get over her because I have. I even dated Leah for a year and a half trying to see if finding someone that I was compatible with would maybe ease the pain I was suffering. Then maybe I could move on and be what she wanted to me to be, her best friend. I highly doubted that would ever happen. I would never be just Jacob Bella's best friend. I would always be Jacob, the heartbroken shape shifter, who was forever doomed to be sixteen and a half; watching his best friend, the love of his life, live an eternity with a someone else. I don't hate Edward, albeit, I sometimes wish he hadn't ever come to Forks, but what could I do? Bella was happy and even though her happiness wasn't because of me, I was glad. Renesmee and Edward are the better parts of her and if she loves them, I did too; even though at one point in my life I wanted to rip Edward's throat out with my teeth, but I digress I'm happy for her.

I had gotten so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't realized that there was someone in my path and I unceremoniously ran into her and knocked her down, scattering her things everywhere. I mentally slapped myself for being consumed in my thoughts and helped her up. She was blushing and I couldn't help but think about the way Bella used to blush while looking at my body before her change. I shook my head attempting to clear my thoughts and answered the girl's question. I found that her name was Naiomi and I, from some experience, noticed that every time she would glance at me she would blush. She's attracted to me.

"So where are you from?" I asked trying my best to be polite; after all I did knock her over.

"Not here," She breathed a humorless laugh. "New York. What about yourself?" She shot back, while trying to balance her things in her arms; she was carrying too much for her small frame. I noticed her debacle and effortlessly swung her bag onto my other shoulder, startling her a bit. She stared at my bicep for a moment too long, once again giving herself away by blushing. I bet she was blaming the fitted stripped shirt I was wearing for the constant blood rush to her cheeks.

"Um, not here either, but nearby. I live on the rez in La Push, its right outside Forks. You ever been there?" I sort of hopped she hadn't ever been there; with any girls luck there she'd run into a Cullen and go all goo-goo eyed over Jasper, Carlisle, Edward, or Emmett.

"No, never even heard of Forks. So . . . I'm about to state the obvious, you're Native American? What tribe?" I smirked at her once again, she was cute.

"Quileute," I was sure she hadn't ever heard of that either.

"Oh, cool," She breathed while nodding her head.

"I would ask what tribe you're from, but I'm going to take a stab and say you're not Native American. What's your background?" She had an exotic look to her; I for once, was sort of curious about a girl that wasn't Bella.

"Do you want the condensed version?" She smiled up at me; her brown eyes and the caramel skin of her face catching the light of the sun, making her look almost angelic.

"Sure, we're almost to your building; it might be all we have time for." She made herself seem so complicated and I sort of found it intriguing that she wasn't the typical girl I was used to being around—the easy to figure out kind.

"Right," She furrowed her brow, appearing in thought for a moment before snapping out of it. "Let's just say my background covers almost everyone, ah, the joys of being tri-racial," She winked at me and stopped in front of the dance building. "Um, this is my building," she brushed back her wild curls before extending her arm toward me and for a moment, I forgot I was carrying her bag, and thought she was reaching out for a hug. Strange.

"Oh, right. Here," I helped hold her other things while she swung her satchel bag over her shoulder and then threw her yellow ballet shoes around her neck, finally able to balance her poster board and books in her arms. "Yellow ballet shoes?" I noticed them earlier when I picked them up.

"Yeah, yellow. Got a problem?" She smiled at me, daring me to pick on her oddly colored ballet shoes.

"No, not a problem at all Naiomi. It was nice talking to you and I'm sorry again, for knocking you down. I was in my own little world, plus it's hard to see someone as short as you at my height." I chuckled, having decided that she wouldn't take too much offense to my shot at her height.

"It was nice having someone to talk to for once and its okay, no permanent damage done. Oh, and I'm not short, you're just freakishly tall Jacob." She smirked at me before walking up the steps of the dance building, pausing to turn around and throw me a smile and a wave before continuing on her way into the building.

Laughing to myself about her comment and truly smiling because I felt like it for the first time in a long time, I made my trek back towards the student parking lot wishing I hadn't worn this shirt because it was too warm for me. I blame Alice for this asinine wardrobe. She was responsible for raiding my closet and insisting that I should wear nicer clothes since I technically needed to look like the twenty-one year old college student I was supposed to be.

Groaning as I pulled on my beloved leather jacket, I hopped on the Ducati that Carlisle and Esme had gotten for my birthday earlier this year in January. It wasn't possible for them to know how much I appreciated the bike. Mostly because it reminded me of the time I had with Bella, when it was just her and I.

Before long, mostly because I broke the speed limit heading back towards La Push, I was pulling up in front of my father's home. I was hoping to have some time to myself to figure everything out. I knew he would be at Sue Clearwater's so I was in the clear; he didn't know I planned on popping in during the school day.

Having already pulled my bike into the garage, I headed inside to my old cramped bedroom. Once I got there I pulled my shirt from my body and toed off my Chucks after untying them, relishing in the feeling of only being in jeans as I tried to fall gracefully onto my old bed.

Today was definitely one of those days that threw me for a loop. After all these years I was still a messed up and confused teenager trapped inside a man's body, just trying to make it day after day. Everyone around me was finding their mate; the entire pack was nearly imprinted. The only people left were Embry, Seth, and I. I was starting to believe that the Great Spirits or who the hell ever thought imprinting was a good idea were trying to torture me. Then again, I didn't just want anyone.

I rolled over to bury my face in my pillow and relished in the scents of my home embedded in the fibers. And something in my mind made me think about the small amount of time I spent with Naiomi. She was nice, albeit I don't know too much about her, but I wouldn't complain if I ran into her again. Dating wasn't my shtick right now since I've only been out of relationship for six months and after dating someone as difficult as Leah Clearwater for a year and a half, I think I needed the time to myself. I deserved it.

Furthermore, what I deserved was for this heartbreak to be over so that my every waking moment wasn't consumed by someone I couldn't have.


	4. Hard Days & Oddities

**Big, huge, massive thanks to my Beta Twitty89 (Rae) and her bestie for making sure I'm not an epic fail when it comes to commas on this chapter. **

***All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, but my plot and OC are mine. Many thanks to her for giving these fun characters to play with.**

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Chapter 3

_It's a different type of commitment_

_I'm talkin' 'bout a true friendship_

_Someone I can depend on to be down no matter what . . ._

**Buddy by Musiq Soulchild**

Naiomi-

It had been a little more than a month since the day I took "the fall," as I call it, and I'd seen Jacob a few times since then. We always ended up walking together somewhere on campus and I appreciated the time that I got to spend with him. I hadn't had a decent friend or almost friend since I'd moved here. Albeit, I talk to my coworkers at the coffee shop and I talk to a few of my classmates; I've mainly kept to myself for the last year and a half since the move.

The day passed by quickly and before I knew it I was rushing to my little beat up purple Neon in the student parking lot, hoping that I wouldn't be late for my shift at work. My last class ran long since no one was able to pick up the choreography quick enough; it was for a grade and the instructor was none too impressed with how us students where performing her beloved routine.

Taking a moment to just breathe before I had to hop in my car and break the speed limit, I leant back against my car and inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and tilting my head up towards the sky. The sun wasn't out today and it was already late evening, but I was sure that with the amount of humidity in the air it was going to rain, then again this was Washington I shouldn't expect anything different. For a moment all was silent before I felt a shadow fall over me, I opened my eyes staring up into the face of none other than Jacob Black.

"Am I interrupting?" He smirked down at me, while I suppose trying to figure out what I was doing.

"No, I was just taking a moment; I had a hard day." It was true; nothing about today's classes had been easy on me.

"Want to talk about it? I've been told I'm a great listener." He didn't even attempt to sound modest about it.

"Way to float your own boat Jake," I chuckled; it felt pretty good to laugh. "But I don't think you'd understand. It seems stupid now that I think about," I wasn't accustomed to trying to verbalize my feelings to someone else other than my journal, so it wasn't that what I felt was ridiculous I just didn't know how to express my emotions.

"Well, you could try. I mean what's the harm in trying right?" He had a point and that cute smirk was not helping my resolve to keep to myself.

"Alright, for you Mr. Black I'll try." Inhaling and exhaling, I gave up what little tenacity I had left and delved into my day. "Today just didn't feel right, then again since I've moved here something's been off I've just been avoiding it. I've been keeping to myself and it's something I'm used to, but now I don't think it's such a great idea. The night before I met you, I felt like I was being watched and it's continued almost nightly since then; it's an uneasy feeling to have, not knowing if you're secretly being stalked. To top it all off I can't sleep well because of the stress and it's affecting my concentration and my ability to dance. In all this, I will admit I'm tired of staying to myself, but I never expected trying to be more social to be as difficult as it is for me. It's not easy to let people in, even when you've decided that you want to. I just love dancing and focusing on everything else but that is screwing me over, my grades are going downhill and if I don't watch it I'll lose my scholarship. Then I'll have to go back home and I really don't want to go back there, everything feels so chaotic." I exhaled, realizing I had said that all on one breath. Lifting my gaze, I found that Jacob was now standing beside me and had slipped an arm around my shoulders, it was a nice gesture. Then again, I probably was freaking him out with my rant; I bet he wasn't expecting all that to come out.

"I understand, but maybe being alone is what's making you think that someone's following you. I don't know, it could all be in your head Naiomi," he paused taking a moment to tilt his head toward the sky and inhale deeply; he scrunched up his nose immediately after and shook his head as if to clear it, before continuing, "And as far as being social, don't stress yourself. From what I know about you, it shouldn't be difficult to make new friends; just know you're great. Don't forget that. If you love dancing, which I can see you do since every time I see you, you have a different colored pair of ballet shoes with you, then let nothing stand in your way. When you dance, do you forget everything else and just let go?"

"Yeah, well I used to," before everything that didn't matter before started pricking me.

"Well if it makes you feel better you've already made a friend." He sent a full blown smile my way and I was temporarily stricken dumb; if it were possible he became infinitely more handsome, he should smile like that more often.

"Thanks Jake, I appreciate you talking to me, not thinking I'm crazy for being a weird dancing loner girl, and for being my friend. I haven't had one of those in a long time." I wanted to hug him, but I didn't know if that was appropriate. I thought for a moment before throwing all caution to the wind and swinging the arm that wasn't squished between the side of his body and mine, over his waist giving him a small squeeze.

"What's that? Did my friend Naiomi just hug me?" He chuckled after emphasizing the word friend and while tightening his grip around my shoulders to aid in my effort at a pseudo hug.

"Yeah, yeah,"

"Sure, sure," he responded and I didn't have to look up to know that he was smiling; you could hear it in his voice.

After standing there for a moment, I realized that I had some place to be and that now, I was probably insanely late. Shelley would not be happy.

"Hey Jake, plan on letting me go?"

"Oh, sorry; believe it or not, I haven't hugged anyone in a while. I'm sorry," he apologized while quickly removing his arm from around my shoulder; I dropped my arm from around the front of his waist just as fast.

"It's not that I wasn't enjoying our little friendship moment, but I'm extremely late for work. I wish I could hang with you, but I can't." I honestly felt bad because maybe he had somewhere to go before he noticed me in the parking lot being all weird and stopped to check on me and now I was ditching him.

"Oh, that's okay I understand. Where do you work?"

"Coffee shop a few miles away from the campus, you know Shelley's Book Nook?"

"Oh yeah, I used to get something to eat from there every now and again with friends. Mind if I tag along and hang out while you work. I have some homework I can do; maybe you won't feel so alone while I'm there?" It was more of a question than I statement and I don't know why now of all times Jacob seemed unsure, but I wanted him to tag along. Maybe he wanted me to feel less worried about my stalker theory.

"Sure, but I'm not getting on your bike; I've got to drive the one eyed one horn flying purple people eater here," I patted the top of my Neon as I unlocked the door with the keypad.

"Alright," He glanced at my car, grimacing a bit at its condition. "I'll ride behind you."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" I chanted while storming into the coffee shop while pulling Jake behind me by the front of his leather jacket. I glanced around quickly and noticed by some smidgen of luck I'd made it before the evening rush.

"Where were you? You were supposed to have been here forty-five minutes ago." Shelley placed her hand on her hip and glanced from me to Jake, assuming he was the reason I was late. "Who's this?" She asked with a raised brow.

"Oh, Shelley . . . Jake's not. He's not . . . Jake's not the reason I'm late. I had to deal with some things today, it won't happen again. I swear it." I shot her a pleading look before looking back at Jake, smiling timidly before shooing him away to one of my tables in the back towards the bay window that gave a great view to the busy Seattle scenery.

"So Jake, huh?" Shelley prodded on my way to the break room. I was removing my blazer and rummaging through my bag to find my Pointe shoes. Tying them up, I hoped that she would drop the subject but I could feel her gaze boring a hole in the top of my head.

"Yes, Jake. Jacob. He's a friend," I clarified, hoping that there was nothing in my voice that gave way to the attraction I felt towards him; I was sure the feelings were not mutual.

"Mhmm and this friend Jacob is quite the looker. Do you agree?" Shelley prodded even further, causing my cheeks to heat in embarrassment.

"Yeah," I found myself huffing in irritation already knowing where this conversation is going.

"So when are you and he going out on a date?" Was there no end to this?

"Never, we're not like that," it was true Jake and I had just established friendship, a relationship was not on the horizon. Not giving her a moment longer to think up another question, I breezed by her and back out onto the floor of the shop.

I rushed through my tables that had ready to order patrons and when there was a lull in costumers I went to see what Jake was up to; I was sure he heard the earlier part of Shelley's questioning.

"Hey!"

"Hey!" He mimicked my greeting while glancing up from his laptop. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, just wanted to see if you wanted to order anything?"

"Yeah, what would you suggest? What's your favorite?" Was he trying to find out what my favorite coffee combo was?

I was probably being a little ridiculous.

"Um, a vanilla frappuccino; it's mostly milk and flavoring, won't have you up all night."

"I'll have that, but I've got to go soon. I've been here for a while. I've got some other things to do at home," I understood he had, after all, wasted two hours of his precious time on me.

"I know, you've got better things to do," I nodded and strolled off behind the counter to place his order, throwing in a chocolate twist for good measure and brought it back over to him.

"Aw, look at that, friend freebies," Jacob mused while glancing in the bag after I handed it to him. "Thanks, can you walk me out?"

Taking a risk, I conceded and walked him out to where his bike was parked out in front of the shop.

"So . . . I'll see you sometime this week?" Jacob asked while placing his order in the storage compartment of his bike; it was so fancy that inside had a cup holder. Odd.

"I hope so," I murmured hoping that he hadn't actually heard me.

"I hope so, too," he smirked at me before climbing onto his bike. "I've got hearing like a wolf Nai." Then he proceeded to wink at me; at that moment I didn't know what shocked me more- the fact that he was winking at me or that he had given me a nickname.

"I see, well Jake I'll see you later," I didn't want him to go, but I wasn't entitled to feel that way, so instead of voicing that I took a step forward to hug him around his neck.

"Aw, another hug. I like these," he chuckled softly, while bringing his arms around my waist. We stood there for a moment, hugging on the curb like ... well I don't know what we looked like. "Alright, I gotta go," Jake spoke while he rubbed my back, before allowing me to step back from his arms. He gave me a smile and a small wave before putting on his helmet; kick starting his bike and riding away.

Around ten o'clock I found myself on my toes, doing a little dance for a few extra tips when a pack of students came fluttering in and found themselves ordering obnoxious amounts of coffee and some of the soups Shelley's shop was known for. In all the hustle of people at my tables, one young man stood out. He was sitting towards the back where Jacob was sitting earlier; he had wheat blonde hair, he looked a little bit shorter than Jake; maybe by four inches or so, and he had golden eyes. For a moment, I was awestruck at how someone could be so handsome and rugged at the same time; his attire screamed 'I can wear anything and still look good.'

Letting myself down from the toes of my Pointe shoes, I walked over to him trying to gather my bearings so when I opened my mouth I wouldn't stutter over my words like a fool.

"Welcome to Shelley's Book Nook, my name's Naiomi. What can I get for you tonight?" I was glad my introduction had gone over without a hitch before he turned his gaze on me, because if he had done so while I was talking I would've just stood there staring at him; most likely with drool dripping down my chin.

"Well hello Naiomi, I'll just take a black coffee," The tenor of his voice was enough to make me melt, but the Southern accent that accompanied said voice was more likely to make women drop their unmentionables.

"Alright, um, I'll be right back with that," I stammered while walking away quickly and tucking my order pad into the back pocket of my pants.

While making his coffee I took tentative glances in his direction, finding him staring right back at me with the same fervor each time; a small smirk always upon his lips. I guess he knew I was looking at him; sue me.

His coffee was finished a lot quicker than I felt it should've been, as I found myself walking towards his table with the coffee in hand. Setting it down, I prepared myself to walk away without any further acknowledgement other than a "here you go."

"Wait, it doesn't seem busy right now. I could use some company, I just started at the nearby college, and I don't really know anybody." He murmured while grasping the coffee cup tightly, staring down into its contents as if it held all the words he wanted to say.

"Oh, well okay," I sat down opposite him and caught him glancing at my dark pink Pointe shoes with a small smile on his face, before bringing his full attention back to me.

"What's your name ma'am? I'm Jasper Whitlock, I'm originally from Texas." He spoke while nodding his head politely; I'm sure he's used to wearing a hat that would require him to tip it in an occasion such as this one. His formal introduction wasn't lost on my part; he went as far as to ask me my name politely, although he already knew it.

"I'm Naiomi, from New York and I go to the college as well," I mean now was a good time to be social, right? Jake said it shouldn't be hard for me, so I would at least give it a shot.

"Well looks like I at least know someone there now. What's your major, if you don't mind me asking," Seems like he was the ever mindful gentleman.

"I'm a dance major, it's kind of obvious. What's yours?" I smirked at him knowing for a fact that he had already glanced at my ballet shoes.

"Southern history and yeah, I know. I noticed; I was just trying to make conversation. I'm not exactly the social type," He smiled while glancing down at his coffee cup again; his grip tightened and then loosened around the cup as I gazed at his pale hands.

"Neither am I, what a coincidence." I mumbled and found myself taking a seat across from him.

Eventually we fell into an awkward conversation and before either Jasper or I knew it, it was closing time.

He waited by the exit as I gathered my things from the back and changed my shoes. Shrugging on my blazer as I approached him and we walked down the sidewalk side by side; he insisted on walking me to my car. I suppose the southern gentleman aspect was definitely ingrained into his upbringing.

"So, this is my car," I patted the top of my purple Neon.

"Okay, well you have a good evening darlin' and I hope to see you again soon." Jasper spoke once again, wooing me with his voice before nodding his head. He watched as I got in, started my car, and rolled down my window so that I could say my final goodbye. "And by the way, just be careful who you hang around." He gave me a knowing look and backed away from the curb.

"Alright Jasper I will. See you around." I threw him a wave and pulled away from the curb coming to a stop at the intersection. Chancing a glance back to where I last saw Jasper standing; I noticed he was nowhere in sight.

Odd.

* * *

( fingers crossed )

Reviews, yes?


	5. Bad Days & Naiveties

Chapter 4

_Had a bad day again  
She said I would not understand  
She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I had a bad day again"…_

_She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace  
Smeared the lipstick on her face  
Slammed the door and said, "I'm sorry I had a bad day again"…_

**Bad Day by Fuel**

Naiomi-

Today was a day like any other. I'd suffered from an even greater lack of sleep since the day I met Jasper, so to say that I was exhausted was an understatement. Not that I was blaming him for the reason I haven't been sleeping; I'd had insomniac tendencies since before then, but they'd only gotten worse since that night. For the last three weeks things had been going pretty great in regards to this whole social issue; minus the fact that I still felt like I was being watched. I'd seen Jacob a handful of times since our little heart to heart about our friendship and I know I wasn't supposed to, but I missed him when I didn't see him. It was bizarre. And as far as Jasper went, he was another great and attractive friend-in-the-making. He was very open and honest with me; going as far as to tell me about his ex-wife, Alice. It amazed me that at twenty one he had been married and divorced already. He'd told me that they'd been together for a long time and that it wasn't that they didn't love each other anymore, but so many things happened between them that it eclipsed the love. I interpreted it as: the cares of the world outshone what should've been the most important thing between them. When I told him that was what I thought he meant he smirked and proceeded to tell me that "I was almost too perceptive for my own good." I didn't share my thoughts about him getting married so young; those were thoughts that I vowed to keep to myself. I was sure he'd heard that time and time again anyway. I also I thought he was leaving some valuable information out of that story; I could just tell. It was a bit strange that he didn't go visit his family in Oregon as much as he should. He'd said that after they moved their relationship became strained so he decided to branch off and do his own thing.

I traipsed wearily from my car to my ballet class half asleep. Everything seemed to be on autopilot and I hoped that the day would go by quickly so that I would be able to get a nap in before work, if not I was going to have to call in. Not that I could afford to call in. I needed all the funds I could get.

Sighing as I arrived at my class ten minutes early, I hurriedly pulled my oversized purple sweatshirt from over my ballet tights and proceeded to lace up my Pointe shoes. Just as I did so our nagging instructor waltzed in and proceeded to test our already frayed nerve; she was having us demonstrate for the class today. She didn't have the greatest affinity for me, so of course seeing that I was exhausted just encouraged her to pick on me first. She sneered at my dark purple Pointe shoes before turning her attention back to the rest of me, observing my stance before instructing me to begin the steps that make up the centre practice: pliés,développés, grand fouetté en tournant,dégagés,grand rond de jambe, rond de jambe en l'air,coupés,battements tendus,attitudes,arabesques**. **She rattled these off quickly, probably hoping that in my exhaustion I would slip up going into my finishing pirouette. Unfortunately for me, she got her wish and in the kindest way I've ever heard, belittled my dancing ability. I immediately tuned her out, I pulled on my sweatshirt, yanked my Pointe shoes gracelessly off my feet, and stormed across the studio bare foot, my flats clutched against my chest; today was not a good day.

Finally slowing as I exited the Arts building, I flopped down at a nearby bench and in my anger I roughly yanked my hair up into a ponytail, not caring if I was creating obnoxious knots in it that I would have to comb out later. Inhaling and exhaling shallowly, I closed my eyes trying to envision peaceful things like ponies, butterflies, stabbing my dance instructor from hell with a pencil in the middle of her forehead, and doggies. You know the simple, happy things.

Eventually, after calming down some, I opened my eyes to tug on my flats. I groaned in annoyance when I realized that from demonstrating in class that I split the bottom of my foot open again and it was bleeding. This day couldn't get any worse, could it?

I laughed humorlessly to myself and in return got some strange looks from those walking past me. I rolled my eyes and gathered my things, limping ungracefully to my car, hoping that I wouldn't topple over before I got there and add public humiliation to the list of things already going wrong in my life today. I was giving myself a cut-day. I wasn't going to go to anymore of my classes, I wouldn't survive it – or maybe everyone else wouldn't be able to survive my wrath. Finally getting to my car, I tossed everything in the passenger's seat and proceeded to start it up. Trying and failing miserably to get the car to turn over, I banged my hands against the steering wheel. I was about two seconds from pulling my hair out and crying. I some how managed to summon the last bit of the energy I had and tried again and with some semblance of luck that seemingly fell from the sky my dinky purple car came to life.

I figured since I was already out that I would at least swing by Shelley's to see if I could take an earlier shift, so that instead of just napping I would have at least half of the afternoon and evening to rest up for tomorrow.

Once I got to the shop I found that Shelley did need me, but before she could put me to use she had to question me for the reason why I wasn't in class and then proceeded to lecture me that I shouldn't skip class. I nodded mutely, just trying to hurry it along so that I could do what I needed to do and then go home.

Honestly, I was amazed that she let me clock out early; it was barely three-thirty and she was letting me go home.

"You're dead on your feet, Naiomi. Go home." Shelley patted my back as I walked past her to collect my things from the break room. Again managing to find some small amount of energy in my body, I trekked back to where I parked my car only to find that this time it really wasn't going to start. In anger, and before I could think, I was out my car and had kicked the tire with my injured foot. I never regretted anything more in my life than I had at that moment.

I took a few minutes to wallow in self pity before I decided that if I planned to get home at any point in this day I would have to start walking—limping now. Heading back towards Shelley's, I began rummaging through my oversized satchel and procured my iPod from my bag. I placed the buds in and tried to put as much pep in my step as I could, otherwise I would never make it home and I'd collapse onto the sidewalk, dead asleep.

Stepping off the curb by Shelley's I heard the tell tale signs of wheels screeching. I glanced up slowly, surprised to find that the wheel of the offending vehicle was inches from my legs. Continuing my journey upward, I found that I was staring into the shocked and peeved looking face of Jacob Black. Like clockwork, my cheeks heated and I could feel the blush creeping over them; I just knew he was going to lecture me.

"Naiomi," Jacob called my name calmly as I took my ear buds out. _Hmm, no wonder the Apple people warned us about the volume level we use concerning our ear buds; you couldn't hear a thing if they were too loud. _

"Hi-hi, Jacob," I stammered noticing the glint in his eyes; it appeared as if he were trying to keep his anger under wraps.

"Hi Naiomi," Jacob said back with a bit of bite to his words. "Oh dear friend of mine, can I ask you a little bitty question?" He spoke now with a slight smile to his face and for some reason the worry that I should've felt before was now present.

"S-sure,"

"Why the hell did you have your attention on your iPod while crossing the street? Why did you have your headphones on so loud you couldn't hear a car, or in this case a motorcycle, coming? You could've gotten hit! Thank God I have fast reflexes or I would've been scrapping you off the asphalt," Ah, there it was.

"Sorry, I didn't think . . . I wasn't thinking," I had no better explanation than that one.

"God, you scared me. I honestly thought I wasn't going to be able to stop without at least taking out one of your legs." He murmured while placing his helmet on the portion of the bike's seat that was exposed between his legs. Not that I was looking in that vicinity or anything like that.

"Sorry Jacob," I huffed, feeling guilty and drained.

"It's fine. You're okay right?" He prodded with worried eyes.

"Physically from my almost-accident? I'm fine. Physically, overall? I think I'm about to collapse from pain and exhaustion," I admitted while putting most of my weight on my uninjured foot. He took notice of this and furrowed his brow at my feet, looking at my stance.

"Why don't you just go home then?" He suggested, obviously not thinking that I had already thought of that.

"I was on my way before I almost got myself ran over and before my car decided it officially hated me today," I explained, realizing that the octave of my voice was slowly rising; I guess talking about this wasn't helping me. "What are you doing over here anyway? Campus is back that way," I pointed lazily in the opposite direction.

"Well, I was uh-I was stopping by to see you," He admitted while glancing at the ground and rubbing the back of his neck.

_Really? He wanted to see me?_

"Well, here I am. I just got off work. Did you want to do something?"I suggested while trying to feign a bit of indifference, knowing that I really did want to hang out with Jake regardless if I fall asleep while doing so or not.

"Uh, sure, I was going to hang here if you had to work, but if you weren't here I was just going to go home."

"Oh," I didn't just want to invite myself over, that would be rude and inappropriate.

"Yeah so, you wanna you go back to my place with me? Maybe watch a movie or do homework. Something cheesy and generic sounds good." He was so awkward about this; he could barely look me in the eye while asking me. Everything behind me was noticeably more entertaining—not.

"Sure, cheesy and generic sounds like us," I laughed and again adjusted the foot which most of my weight was rested upon.

"Alright, hop on so I can get you to my place and look at that foot," He perked up a bit at my acceptance of his invitation.

Hesitantly, I grabbed the helmet that he was extending to me and braced myself. I was going be pressed against Jacob Black's backside for God only knows how long. _Probably not long enough though_, I thought as I placed the helmet on and boarded his bike.

"Ready?" He asked, while glancing back at me over his shoulder and pulling my arms around his waist to hold tightly around his stomach. I tightened my grip in nervousness as he kick started the bike, one: cause we were about to actually move with me on this thing and two: because the helmet I was wearing was his and he wasn't going to wear one himself.

"Hold on to me tight!" He called to me over the roar of the engine as we took off down the street and headed for the highway entrance.

_Right, as if I'd let go of him if I had the chance._

Glancing around the elevator as we rode up to the floor in which Jacob's condo was on. I adjusted my sweatshirt and bag on my body; feeling a bit underdressed to even be in this building.

"Relax," Jacob chuckled. I suppose he was beginning to notice my nervous ticks.

"I'm fine, really," I tried my best to smile at him, but I could tell it fell short.

"Come on weirdo," He chuckled as the elevator chimed, signaling we had arrived at the top floor of the complex.

He pulled me behind him by my hand, which I of course noticed, towards his apartment door. I gaped at all the paintings adorning the hallway walls—I definitely didn't think I'd ever be in a place like this.

Abruptly we stopped and I ran into his back and clumsily tumbled to the ground. He turned around and looked at me with furrowed brows before pulling me up. No words were exchanged as we entered his condo, mostly because I couldn't get over how freaking amazing everything was and I had obviously left my ability to talk out in the hallway.

"Uh, you can put your bag down in the living room if you want," Jacob suggested, breaking the silence between us as he walked past me into said room. The color palette consisted of pretty masculine colors; ash blue, grey, beige, black, and white for the living room colors. As I nosily peaked in other rooms, I saw that the palette continued into the other parts of the house that I hadn't visited yet. _Whoever decorated Jacob's place needed to come work a miracle on my pitiful little one bedroom apartment._

I sat down on Jacob's plush beige couch and glanced out his ceiling to floor glass wall. The city of Seattle never looking as beautiful to me as it did then. I sighed in content as relaxation took over; it felt wonderful to have all the pressure taken off my foot. Finally taking a moment to look around for Jacob, I noticed he had left the room and I could hear him rummaging through something further back in the condo. Seconds later I heard his foot steps approaching and I tore my gaze from the awesome view to see him sit down on the floor in front of me with a first aid kit in hand. I raised my brow at it, wondering what he needed that for and feeling a little bit antsy with him sitting at my feet and all I had on was an oversized purple sweatshirt, leotard and tights.

"First aid kit for your foot . . .," He answered my questioning stare before continuing. "My best friend's father-in-law is a doctor and my best friend also used to be a huge klutz, so he thought it would be best for me to have in the house just incase. I really don't use it much; she's not around anymore," He admitted sadly before popping the lid to the kit open.

"Oh, well the reason you have it makes sense. What happened to your best friend?"

"She … she's dead to me," He spoke softly as he pried off my shoes, seeing that the shoe that was on the injured foot wouldn't come off easily.

"Is she really dead?" I asked, already having a notion that she wasn't.

"She might as well be," He chuckled humorlessly, that dangerous glint that I saw in his eyes earlier reappeared.

"I don't think you mean that, really. I think that maybe she's not who she used to be, to you anyway. She's the same but so different at the same time and it probably messed up your friendship," I thought aloud while looking out the window again.

"Anyone ever told you that you're annoyingly perceptive?" Jacob asked while still working on how to get my shoe off without hurting my foot.

"Yeah, I can't help it," I shrugged before moving his hands that were on my foot out the way and to pull my shoe off myself. Jerking it off quickly I cried out in pain as I glanced down at Jacob; I knew I was blushing. I didn't know which I was feeling more—embarrassment or pain. I didn't have much time to decide as the blood oozed down my foot. He scooped me up quickly and carried me through the condo, rushing through what I assumed was his bedroom and into his connected bathroom. He sat me down on the counter sideways and pulled me towards the sink so that my foot was dangling in it. With the hands of a surgeon, he dealt with my foot and used liquid stitches to bond the split portion of my foot back together.

"How'd you manage to do that anyway?" He asked after cleaning up the counter and putting the supplies away.

"Doing some stupid crap that my anal dance instructor made me do; it's called centre practice," I clarified for him as he once again scooped me up and walked me back to the living area. This time around he wasn't in such a hurry and I was able to really feel his muscular upper body and not only was he muscular, he was freaking hot. _Ha, I made a funny. No really, he was hot though._

"Hmm, what's centre practice?" He asked as we flopped down onto the couch, this time with me in his lap. I guess he thought nothing of it or was feeling mighty comfortable; either way I wasn't complaining.

"It's a basically a bunch of really complicated pirouettes and fancy legs motions. I messed up on my last turn out and managed to twist my foot funny and bam it reopened a cut I got from a nail in my foot the other week," I explained while taking a chance to glance at his arms that were still about my waist.

"Wow, Nai your teacher sounds like a grade 'A', ass."

"She is. Well, to me anyway. She hates me," I clarified.

"Ah, how can she hate you? You're pretty awesome as far as I'm concerned," He reasoned aloud before smiling down at me. I felt the tell tale signs of a blush creeping up on me and looked away towards the pillows that were piled next to the couch's matching side chair across from the fireplace. Needless to say my need for a nap overcame the embarrassment I felt at Jacob's compliment.

"Hey, you look exhausted," Jacob stated as I yawned. "Why don't you take a nap or something?" He suggested and moved me off his lap to gather up a few pillows and placed them on his oversized couch. He then proceeded to get a blanket. Then he took a few of the pillows and placed them at the curve of the couch. Eventually we both settled towards the curve of the couch, were we could see one another's faces pressed against the pillows beneath them, and chatted a bit about inconsequential things.

"Hey Jake?" I called to him after stifling a yawn.

"Yeah Nai?"

"What's your middle name?"

"Ephraim, it's a tribe thing. The name runs in my family. What's yours?"

"Brynn," I murmured while saying his name in my head, _Jacob Ephraim Black; it sounded so . . . Jake._

"Naiomi Brynn Arrington?" He yawned, before bringing his hand to cover his mouth. "Sounds so southern bell-ish," He muttered my full name before snuggling further into the pillow that he had in the crook of one of his arms.

"Gee thanks Jake," I sat up and looked at him at the same time he popped his head up.

"No, I didn't mean it in a bad way," He spoke softly before reaching over to tuck a stray curl that escaped my impromptu ponytail behind my ear. His hand lingered for a moment and I watched in rapt attention as his eyes searched my face for a moment. Before long, and before I could register what was really happening, his lips descended upon mine. I gasped against his before mentally chastising myself about being shocked and moved my lips to join in on this epic moment. I could be shocked and girl out about him kissing me on my own time.

_Jacob Black was kissing me! – Okay, so that escaped, sue me._

I pressed my lips against his gently afraid that if I appeared too eager, the moment would shatter and be ruined. Moments before my head begin to swim with lack of oxygen he pulled away, giving me a small smirk before licking his bottom lip.

"Go to sleep, I'll wake you," He spoke again in that same soft tone. I settled back down against the couch and tried to contain the squeal that was trying to make its way out my mouth.

"Alright Jake," I answered before gathering the blanket that he had given me earlier and pulling it tightly around me, relishing the fact that it smelled like Jake; like cinnamon and forest, before closing my eyes with the world's stupidest grin on my face.

_I'm not saying it's your fault  
__although you could have done more  
Oh you're so naive yet so  
How could this been done  
by such a smiling sweetheart.  
Ohh and your sweet and pretty face  
in such an ugly world  
something so beautiful.  
Ohh that every time I look inside_

_I know, she knows that I'm not fond of asking  
True or false, it may be... Well, she's still out to get me…_

**Naïve by ****the Kooks**

_He said he would call and I believed him, I don't know why I believed him, but I did. _

When I woke up the other day at Jake's place, I wasn't on the couch anymore, but in Jacob's bed with his arms wrapped around me. To say that I felt confused upon waking was an understatement. I wasn't angry that he had moved us but it just felt awkward. Then when he woke up and finally managed to realize that he was wrapped around me and not his pillow he moved away from me in surprise, which sufficiently raised the awkward level in the room to a solid ten.

_I wasn't the one that had moved us here genius!_

After he ambled out the bed and rushed into his bathroom I glanced around realizing that one: it was lighter outside than it had been when we fell asleep and two: that it was almost nine o'clock in the _morning_ and that I would quite possibly be late for my history of ballet lecture.

Somewhere in the blur of everything Jacob managed to get us back over by the college in record time and promised that he would call me later. I suppose he wanted to discuss what had happened and the awkwardness that was now our 'friendship.'

Now here I was almost three days later and he hadn't called me. I suppose I should use my perceptiveness and decide that the reason he wasn't calling was because he regretted kissing me and didn't know what to say to me, so avoiding me at all costs was the next best thing. Too bad it sucked for me because I didn't regret a thing. Such is life.

At the present moment, it was Friday evening and here I was at Shelley's cleaning tables while occasionally grumbling to myself about Jake.

"You alright over there Oscar?" Shelley called from behind the counter as she watched me clean the tables with a little extra vigor, amusement clearly etched upon her face.

"Oscar?" I inquired, not turning my attention from the table as I heard the door's bell chime, signaling that we had a customer. Friday night was always slow because people were out at the nearest bars and clubs—it was the weekend of course.

"Yeah, Oscar the Grouch, you're a bit on the cranky side today," Shelley laughed before nodding her head in the direction in which our newest customer sat; that was my cue to go take an order.

To say I was surprised when I turned around was an underestimation, there Jasper was in all his good looking glory, smirking at me as I walked over to him, order pad and pencil in hand.

"Hey Jas, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready to go to that party you tried to get me to go to?" I prodded in curiosity. Maybe he decided he wasn't going anymore. Then again, he said it was a friend of his throwing the party so he was at least expected to show up.

"Yeah, I was on my way but I thought I'd stop by and see if I asked you again, if you would be swayed to accompany me to this event?" He smiled and I was temporarily stricken dumb; that seemed to be happening a lot when I was around Jasper or Jacob. _I needed less attractive friends._

Literally the day after Jacob went missing in action; Jasper popped up at the shop to keep me company one night and asked if I had wanted to go with him to a party. I declined and had been doing so since that day. To say he was persistent was an understatement.

"Jas, I already told you, parties aren't my thing," I shrugged before I tucked my order pad into the back pocket of my pants.

"I know and they aren't mine either, that's why I just thought that maybe we could go . . . as friends?" He was needling me with this and I was sure I was going to cave, despite having an injured foot; I was going to dance on it anyway on Monday. His pleading was killing my already weak resolve.

"Fine, but let me see if I can leave and then I have to go home and change. I'm not about to go looking like this," I gestured to my outfit as I began walking away from the table, seeing Jasper's smile widen with the acceptance of his invitation.

Shelley shooed me as soon as the words left my mouth. She told me to have fun and get laid.

I collected my belongings from the break room and took my time walking back out to meet Jasper. I was nervous to go out with him and couldn't exactly figure out what it was that made me change my mind so abruptly about going to this party. It didn't make any sense.

"Ready?' Jasper prompted as we exited the coffee shop.

"Yeah, can you just swing by my house so I can drop my stuff off and freshen up a bit?"

"Sure thing," He responded before we headed in the direction of his pretty ostentatious heather-gray Aston Martin. Had this been the first time I'd seen the car I would've probably drooled, much like I almost did the first time I saw it.

He unlocked the car and I climbed in. It seemed like only a few minutes later we pulled up to my apartment. Furrowing my brow as I exited the car, after telling him I'd only be a few minutes, I wondered if there was a time I'd told Jasper which off campus housing unit I lived in. I was pretty sure I hadn't. Then again with my lack of sleep my memory for the last month or so had been crappy.

Rushing into my apartment I put my things down and ran to the bathroom, after fumbling around in my closet trying to find appropriate party wear. _Really, what did one wear to a party? _I settled on a dark embellished tank, some dark jeans, a gray blazer, and a pair of ankle boots. Continuing on in the spirit of rushing, I showered quickly and skipped on washing my hair to save time. After exiting the shower I donned my outfit in record time. As I walked through my apartment I grabbed the bag I had dumped my things into, and rushed out the door; twisting the lock inside the door before slamming it behind me.

Moving quicker than I ever believe I have in heels, I was back in Jasper's car and on the way to this party. We arrived a lot faster than I hoped and an uneasy feeling settled in me as he parked the car. _Something just didn't feel right._

Grasping my blazer around me tighter with one hand as I placed my other hand in the crook of Jasper's accompanying arm, we entered the frat house; the bass booming loudly enough that I couldn't even hear my own thoughts.

"You want something to drink darlin'," Jasper leant down to ask in my ear, his lips tickling the curvature of my ear.

"Um sure, but I'm not much for alcohol," I admitted as he stooped down so that I could speak my response in his ear.

"Okay, I'll see if I can find you something sans alcohol," He strolled off after telling me to stay put. I watched his back as he walked away from me in search for a bar; I glanced around me while removing my blazer observing the sea of moving bodies. I suppose this type of dancing should come natural to me, but in all honesty I was more comfortable with proper stances and the pirouettes that came with ballet.

Appearing as if out of nowhere Jasper returned with some red colored liquid in a cup and handed it to me before shrugging his shoulders at the curious look I threw at the cup he clutched in his pale hand.

"It's the only thing that has the least amount of alcohol in it," He reasoned before handing me the cup.

_How do you manage to judge alcohol content on the spot? Weird._

"I guess I won't be drinking this entire thing," I murmured before bringing the cup to my nose and sniffing; it didn't smell too bad, mostly fruity. Tentatively I sipped it and made a mental note to throw it away at the nearest presented opportunity.

For about an hour Jasper and I chatted about nonsensical things, basically joking about anything that came to mind, even the people dancing wildly on the make shift dance floor.

"So you want to dance?" Jasper prodded, before removing my blazer from my hand, grasping said hand, and pulled me towards the nearest closet to stow it.

"I don't know," I yelled over the music casting a skeptical glance at the swaying bodies pressed together on the dance floor. Passing by a trash can, I dumped my cup in it before turning to look up at Jasper.

"Come on, I just wanna dance with you," He once again spoke in my ear while running the tips of his fingers gently down the length of my arms. A chill raced my spin seconds after and I once again seemingly agreed out of nowhere to do just what I didn't want to.

We found a spot on the dance floor and Jasper coaxed my hips to be flush with his as we swayed to the beat. Feeling the awkwardness and embarrassment about being this close to Jasper start to fade, I brought my arms around his neck.

"See, it's not so bad," He murmured against my ear, his lips moving over it with each word. _Who knew your ear was connected to all your other nerve endings, including those below the belt._

An hour passed easily as we played the teasing game on the dance floor and before long Jasper thought it was best we leave before the party got any more rowdy. Clutching my hand he pulled me towards the exit, but not before stopping to grab my blazer and purse from the closet and we continued out the door. Walking to his car hand in hand, I realized that fall was really here now and the telling signs of rain played around us. I pulled on my blazer after getting in Jasper's car and we made the venture back towards my car that I left parked a few blocks down from Shelley's.

Pulling up behind my car, I hopped out and Jasper followed closely behind after turning off his ridiculously gorgeous car. Procuring my keys from my bag, I unlocked my car door and sat in the driver's seat, once again trying my hand at starting my car. Sadly, after the other day I realized that my car was on death's bed and would probably only survive for another few days or so.

Tonight wasn't any different and I feared that I was now officially car-less. I removed the key after realizing the car was not going to cooperate with me tonight and shut the door behind me. I leant back against my car and looked up into Jasper's face. He was amused at my difficulty with the car.

"I think your car needs to be sent out to pasture," He quipped, before leaning against my body so that I was trapped between him and the car.

"Funny Jasper, really funny," I sighed and begin to worry about how I was going to manage to get another used car with my minimal funds.

"Hey, I was just tryin' to make you smile. I don't like when you're upset . . . it sort of hurts me to see you upset. You'll get another car," He tried to comfort me as my head fell forward onto his chest, and almost instantly I felt him wrap his arms around me as best as he could given our position.

"Thanks Jas," I sighed before staring up into his face. I found that he was staring back at me and if I wasn't mistaken his face was nearing mine at a torturously slow speed. Finally his lips meshed with mine and I was surprised to find that his mouth was cooler in comparison to my own.

As the moments passed Jasper's grip went from my back to my waist, pulling my hips closer to his. My head began to spin as I tried to get air while trying to keep the kiss going; apparently he noticed and broke the kiss, moving his eager lips to my jaw and ear. I gasped at the sensation of his cool lips on my still overheated skin. My fingers dug into his shoulders as I leant my head to the side to give him more access.

"God, you smell so good," He half muttered, half groaned against my neck. I nodded dumbly in response to his statement, not really knowing if there was anything in particular I should be saying in a moment like this. My thoughts were disrupted when I felt the soft nips of his teeth against my flesh and I realized that yet again all nerve endings were attached to places _below_ the belt. In my Jasper induced haze everything began to spin and I shut my eyes in response to the feeling, solely focusing on the sensations that were coming from Jasper. His teeth became more persistent as he kissed my neck and I was sure there would be a mark there in the morning.

My heartbeat quickened as he swiped his tongue over my pulse point in my neck and I gasped feeling the sharpness of Jasper's teeth penetrating my neck. Panic overtook me secondly to the searing pain in my neck that immediately followed the bite. In response to the shock of pain, my body slumped against his and I could feel the coolness of his arms envelope me. I was vaguely able to make out what he was saying as the environment whipped around me, the air feeling rough against my face. I closed my eyes blocking out my surroundings and cried out in pain as the burning continued to spread.

"I'm so sorry," Jasper said remorsefully as I lost consciousness; the blackness and the pain that accompanied it consumed me, mind and body.


	6. Missing Friends & Weirdness

Chapter 5

_Do I seem familiar?_

_I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times_

_No more camouflage, I want to be exposed and not be afraid to fall…_

**For You I Will (Confidence) by Teddy Geiger**

Jacob-

Where should I start? I'm not even sure. I don't know what's been going on with me lately, well in regards to Naiomi anyway. I know that I'm not ready for a relationship, but I kissed her. What the hell possessed me to do that? I'm not even sure. Since I met her two months ago I have this annoying feeling in the back of my head that always makes me think about her, and when I'm on campus there's this draw to be around her even when she's working. I've spoken to Quil and Embry about this and they automatically think it has something to do with imprinting. I, on the other hand, am sure that this is something different when it comes to Naiomi. I mean I find her attractive and she's an amazing girl to talk to; she's quickly become one of the best people I've ever met in my life, but I just got out of a relationship. Did I fail to mention that I'm still partially consumed with all things Bella Swan? Cullen? Whatever.

To top it off I was becoming a liar. I didn't mean for us to fall asleep for that long the day we hung out at my apartment and I'm not quite sure what possessed me to move us to my bed when I saw that she was about to fall off the couch, but I did. That night had to have been one of the best night's sleep that I had in a long time. Unfortunately, being the awkward teenage-man thing that I am, when I woke up and found out she really was in my bed, I moved like a bat out of hell for one reason alone. Morning wood.

I really couldn't see myself explaining to Naiomi the reason that my penis took on a life of its own was because she had been grounding her ass into my crotch in her sleep. No, I didn't see that going over very well. So I rushed to the bathroom and thought about anything gross like Charlie Swan getting it on with Sue Clearwater, starving children, and orphaned animals. The first one sufficiently killed the wood I was sporting, but I added the other two, just in case.

After setting the pace for awkwardness, I got her out of there as soon as possible and told her I would call her. Now back to me being a liar, I intended to call her, I really did, but I couldn't figure out an explanation in my mind that made sense. Telling her everything, like that my friends think I'm going to imprint, and having to explain imprinting, or that I was perpetually sixteen and a half years old and could morph into a giant vampire killing wolf, and all the crap that came with it, seemed very unlikely to someone who was outside the tribe or someone that wasn't Bella.

So here I was two weeks later and I hadn't seen her since that morning. I even tried calling her, although I was pretty scared she was going to tear me a new one for being a punk, but there was no answer. I was starting to worry that she didn't want to speak to me anymore.

Then again could I blame her? No.

I tossed and turned as I stared up at the ceiling trying my best to get the nagging feeling to go away, but it had been eerily persistent for the last two weeks. I wish I knew what it was, but I didn't.

Sighing in frustration as I gripped the pillow beside me with both hands, I yanked until the fibers gave way and the once-whole pillow became two separate sectors. I glanced at what I had just done and chucked the pillow halves across my room; I heard them thud against the wall before plopping onto the floor.

After all this time I'm actually worrying about the idea of imprinting. I remember wishing I would imprint on Bella, but it never happened. And now that I don't give a rat's ass about it, Quil and Embry decide to put the notion in my head that most likely that is what's happening with Naiomi, and now I couldn't get the idea out of my mind. Maybe I should've spoken to Sam and he would've given me a more assuring answer versus the teasing I suffered from my still immature best friends.

I just lay there, really trying to understand why after all this time imprinting has chosen to pop up and torture me? I didn't need it in my life; it only ever caused heartache. Leah could testify to that and as badly as I wanted to imprint on Bella, I'm sort of glad that I didn't because it hurt terribly that she married Cullen. I couldn't imagine a more amplified version of the heartbreak I experienced. I don't know how Leah is able to withstand it. I think leaving the rez was the best thing I've ever done. Not that I'm not still there a lot, because I am, but being able to work with my pack still and then remove myself from the chaos and place myself in another environment is something I never thought I would need. I'm pretty grateful to Carlisle and Esme for getting me a place by the college; I never thought I would even go to college but here I was majoring in Mechanical Engineering with a minor in Native American studies.

Sighing as I pulled myself from inside my head I sat up and ran my hand roughly through my hair. What is going on with me?

"Why now?" I growled sounding more like a wolf than a man as I begrudgingly removed myself from the confines of my bed.

_What was so different? _I mused as I moved through my apartment towards my kitchen. I mean, with Bella I wanted imprinting and a life with her, and it didn't happen. I suppose my emotions are more out of sync than I thought. In all honesty, I did force myself into that relationship with Leah; it just seemed right at the time. We were both heart broken and we understood each other, so getting together to ease whatever pain we were dealing with seemed possible, sensible even. But my heart wasn't in it. We found solace in sex and anything else that could possibly take our minds off the people we wanted, but could never have. Then came the time that I realized I was being beyond ridiculous. I loved Bella with everything I had and I still do, but I can't stop my life while she's continuing hers. Well, her existence. Eternity. Whatever.

So breaking up with Leah was the best thing I ever did for myself. I had to get over my past before I could think of a future with anyone else. I was just scared this time around. I know what it's like to love someone and not have the feeling returned. I didn't want to deal with that again and I didn't want imprinting to be the reason I was with a person. I wanted to like them all on my own and if imprinting happened later on, great.

Standing in front of my fridge staring at it for a drawn out moment, I let my head loll forward to rest on it and groaned once again. Naiomi was at the forefront of my mind and she didn't seem to want to budge, and honestly I'm not too sure I wanted her to.

I was worried about her, more worried than I cared to admit. I'd gone by Shelley's Book Nook to see if she had been into work and Shelley informed me that she hadn't been in since the night she went out with a 'young man from school.' That alone made me angry. Why was she going out with random guys?

_Weren't you the one who told her it was okay to be social?_ my conscience taunted me as I growled in agitation once more. Sure, I told her that, but I didn't exactly mean be social with another guy. Then again, what's stopping her? Certainly not me, I didn't have any merit when it came to that area.

"Argh," I mumbled as I prepared myself a quick bowl of cereal, needing something to do with my hands before I yanked my hair clear out of my scalp.

Things have been more complicated than this for me before and yet I was still able to figure things out with Bella. Now I felt like I just didn't know anything anymore.

Did I like Naiomi? If I was being honest, I did and the past two weeks without hanging out with her were pretty boring and that nagging feeling just became insistent. I never noticed it was this bad before, until after I screwed up. That's just how my life goes, I guess.

Moving to clean my bowl, I thought about where she could possibly be. When I was around her I never could pick up a scent that was constant besides her own warm vanilla sugar smell and I didn't mind that.

Could I be that far removed from things going on in Forks that I wouldn't recognize the sickly sweet stench of a vampire? It didn't seem right. It also wasn't likely that Naiomi was even missing; she could've just gone home to visit family or something.

On the other hand, she just didn't seem like the type to not let her friends know she was going back home and if I'm not mistaken we're not on any sort of vacation. Plus she hates her home life, so I can't figure out anything else that may have happened to her.

Maybe I needed to phase and talk with Sam, maybe there's a nomadic vampire in the area. There haven't been many that pass through since the Cullen's moved to Portland, but there were a few here and there. I'd hate to think that a vampire was the cause of Naiomi missing, but in my world things like this were always possible. Most people would laugh at this idea, but most people can barely believe in the supernatural. I'm confident in thinking that any human being was vulnerable to vampiric charm; unless they were dead. Like, in the ground and never coming back dead; cause if you have a pulse, you might want to watch your neck.


	7. Failures & Acceptance

Chapter 6

_There's a hopeful hunter that has a sense of wonder  
And leaving claw marks on the rock he hid his money under  
Strange words that we hold on back into the river  
And made men only want to live again_

**Serpent Charmer** by Iron & Wine

Jasper-

Running back to my secluded house on the outskirts of Seattle in the surrounding woods may not have been the wisest decision I had ever made, but I panicked. I didn't plan to bite her, but then again what did I expect to do? Her scent already drove me mad. I was sure that if I hadn't suggested she come with me to that party, then alter her feelings towards going to said party, then alter her feelings again when I asked her to dance, and then if I would've just kept my hands, tongue and lips to myself I'm positive I wouldn't have just bitten my singer. Now I had to deal with a potential new born, and going back to the city to get my car after all this was over.

I was playing with fire and I got burned, but the warmth I got from playing with it felt oh so _good__;_it was addicting, she was addicting. I honestly enjoyed being with Naiomi and I was hoping that maybe if I hung out with her long enough that I would be able to become accustomed to the persistent burn that plagued the back of my throat every time I was around her. I wanted to get to know her and her to get to know me, and then maybe she'd like me and we'd end up dating. Then magically by some freak chance she'd ask me a question about how cold I was or why my eyes were golden and I would have the perfect opportunity to tell her something she would most likely not believe. _Real bright Whitlock, real bright._

Now here I was panicking as I paced at my bedside with a half clothed girl writhing in pain in it. It wasn't that I'd personally taken off her clothes but somewhere in the midst of her coping with the pain she tore at her shirt and eventually ripped the satin material so that it fell from her body easily. So not only was I dealing with the smell of her blood mixed with my venom, but I was being enticed; her chest rising and falling heavily and I could almost see her breast through the material of her bra. _Oh how I wish I was back in the time of the war right now, even with her top off she'd have more on as undergarments, than she does now. _

What was I going to do? I hadn't spoken to the family in a few months and I purposely told Alice after our divorce that I didn't want her looking into my future or calling to warn me about anything. I definitely regret ever telling her that now. I wish I could've gotten a heads up on this. How was I going to explain this to Carlisle? I had to tell him what I'd done, because I was going to need help with Naiomi, assuming she survived the change. I would have to tell him that I slipped up. I wasn't ready to be on my own again. Although I had been adhering to our 'vegetarian' diet for more than two decades now, I made a mistake, and as a result I was taking an innocent, gorgeous girl's life. How was I going to explain that to the family? I was once again the screw up, the one they had to worry about.

After Edward and Bella married, had Nessie, and Bella was turned, things for me were easy on the Bella front, I didn't have to deal with being enticed by her scent every time she was over or hear the quickening beat of her heart when Edward would kiss her for a bit longer than he probably should have. Then as quickly as things were okay, I had to deal with my pseudo niece, she was part human after all. Renesmee is such a vibrant little girl and the soft hum of her heart inside her practically indestructible body bothered me daily. I should be accustomed to being around humans but having one in my house that _lived _there day in and day out didn't make it easy for me. Then to top it off, everyone was placating me, walking on pins and needles –no thanks to Edward invading the privacy of my mind concerning his child. Then Alice, trying to be the well meaning wife that she was, always tried to talk to me. She wanted me to open up to her and let her know what I was dealing with. I'm pretty sure she didn't need me to open up to her, when she could probably clearly see my future better than I knew how to express what I was coping with. And I was almost positive that she and Edward were in cahoots as usual, so she knew exactly what I was thinking anyway. Eventually things between us became tense; three years worth of this was enough to tear anyone down, I couldn't exist like that anymore. Alice went from being my wife, the woman I wanted _daily_ to a mother figure that I didn't need, since my real mother had passed over a century and a half ago. What I needed was my wife; the woman that understood that I needed time once again in my life, much like our time before we ended up with the Cullens. She understood then. I suppose time had progressed between us and she was so hopeful that I was a changed individual that the current Jasper was the only Jasper she saw. I wanted her so badly to understand . . . but that's something you can't force and eventually we mutually decided that we needed to go our separate ways.

Esme and Carlisle were understanding even though they were sad that two of their children couldn't find it in them to stick it out, but after three years of trying to live in a house with a niece you wanted to kill, a brother and sister in law that were watching you like a hawk, and a wife that was babysitting you and reminding you that you were on a feeding schedule and needed to eat your deer or elk, effectively becoming a second mother; there was nothing I could see to do but try to be on my own for a while. Two years later here I was. I had a clean track record until I met Naiomi . . . well, until I came across her scent while at the university and followed it one day. Her scent led me to her in a ballet class in one of the nearby Washington State arts buildings and I was automatically taken with her. She was beautiful, poised, and she smelled wonderful. I followed her the rest of the day, falling back into those vampire stalker tendencies and even going as far as to watch her from a branch of a nearby tree across the street from her job. I followed her home as well and had been doing so almost every day that I could, which was the reason why I knew were she lived the night of the party. It was a slip up, one that I'm sure she noticed; her quickening heartbeat and pulse not only confirmed that for me but nearly enticed me to follow her inside to have my wicked way with her and then drain her. I suppose thoughts like that were what landed me in my current situation.

I could call Rosalie and Emmett for help but they were celebrating something like their eightieth wedding anniversary in Fiji and I was positive that Emmett would do more harm than good. We'd been fine since I'd left the family and Rosalie understood, but they weren't exactly experts in dealing with human blood. So that left one option; my father.

"God," I groaned as I watched Naiomi's back arch up from the bed and a soft whimper of pain fell from her lips. I knelt at her beside as I ran my hands through my hair, tugging in frustration. I did this to her.

Closing my eyes, I listened to her breathing. It was raspy and shallow, her heart seemed to beat at a normal rate for now, but I knew within the next two days or so that it would cease to beat at all. I would be forced to come to a solution before then and I would have no other option than to either call Carlisle and ask him to come here, where Naiomi would most likely wreck the place in her first day, or I would have to drive her to Oregon now and hope that I wouldn't put her in anymore pain than I already have.

"Jasper," she groaned as I stared down at her; my name falling from her lips. Her voice rasped, made my heart clench. This was _not _the way I wanted her calling my name while she was in my bed.

"I'm so sorry," was my automatic response. I didn't know what else I was supposed to say.

A few hours ticked by and the sun began to rise as I sat beside the bed and listened to Naiomi's expressions of pain, her groans turned to yells of anguish and I was sure that the next time she said that "everything's burning" and tried to claw at her pants that I was going to just get in the bed with her and try my best to cool her down. And like clockwork she screamed out again and I hopped up, in a blur of material and laid down beside her pulling her body against mine, hoping that the coolness of my skin would aid her. I _had _to be good for something, right?

By the afternoon I'd resorted to trying to tap into her feelings and absorb as much of her pain as I could, blocking out the torturous burn that plagued the back of my throat while being in close proximity to her. It was because of her blood that I was feeling this pain, but it was because of my careless and selfish ways that she was feeling her pain.

Silence fell across the room as evening neared and I took a moment to slide my phone from my pocket. I had finally made the decision to call Carlisle; to face up and be the screw up of the family that I normally was.

The phone rang once before Carlisle's voice floated through my phone.

"Jasper, son, I haven't heard from you in a while. To what do I owe this phone call?" He greeted, sounding chipper and just happy to hear from his estranged son.

"Hi Carlisle," I started, trying my best to keep my news under wraps; I didn't want to burst his bubble right off the bat but I had a feeling I would have to. "I have problem…" I hedged hoping that what I was about to say would be as elegantly put as I could manage.

"What's happened?" he prodded, sounding genuinely concerned and which in turn made me feel like crap.

"Um, the abridged version or –"

"Just tell me Jasper," Carlisle cut me off and I sighed as I pulled Naiomi's body closer to mine. I suppose she was the closest thing I had to comfort at the moment.

"I stumbled across my singer," I mumbled.

"Really? Is she . . . alright?" He asked, apparently picking up the hesitation in my voice already. He'd known me at my worst and I could only imagine the thoughts going through his head. For once I wished I had Edward's gift.

"N-no. Well when I first picked up her scent, it was almost like a slap in the face; I wasn't looking for it or expecting it. Her scent's so different from every other human I've ever encountered and I ended up following it one day, to one of the nearby buildings on campus. She was in one of the school's dance studios and the closer I got to her, the more I wanted her. From there I started following her, the monster in me thinking it was all some sort of hunting game. I watched every where she went and one day I decided to go into where she worked; I formulated a lame plan to talk to her, to get next to her, enjoying the burn as I got closer. Then we got to know each other and she's amazing . . . but I still wanted to kill her. We hung out a few times and I eventually asked her to a party, that she turned down. I altered her emotions, to make her give in and say yes. That night we danced and I reacted not only to her blood, but to her body and I tried to play the friend role as best I could. I dropped her back at her car and it wouldn't start, and Carlisle, I _swear_ I didn't want it to go this far, but I admit I wanted her in my bed last night. We started kissing and I know. . I know I shouldn't have but God her heart was like a lure as I kissed her," I paused, feeling the venom pool in my mouth at the thought of her taste, the warmth of her blood flowing in one strong spurt hitting the back of my aching throat. "I should've stopped then when she needed to breathe, but I didn't. Instead I pushed myself too far by kissing her neck and after feeling her pulse beat quickly against my lips I couldn't resist licking over it, trying to taste her without _actually _tasting her. It wasn't enough and before I could realize what I was doing I heard the air whoosh out of her lungs in surprise; the abrupt sharpness of my teeth stealing her breath, and then she went limp." I sighed, pulling my body from Naiomi's as I moved to sit up beside her, the phone still pressed to my ear awaiting my father's response.

"Wow and is she, uh… changing?" I knew what he wanted to know. Had I stopped my story to tell him that I'd drained her dry? Which would prove that I had absolutely no resolve to stop drinking once I've started, basically emphasizing my weakness further?

"Yeah, I brought her back to my house as soon as I could; it's almost been a day." I paused again, listening to Naiomi inhale sharply, her eyes moving back and forth rapidly behind her closed eyelids.

"Okay, do you need me to come to you?" I heard him rustling with his things, it sounded as if he was in his study.

"No, I was- I was thinking of coming home. If I leave tonight we could be there early tomorrow afternoon, if I can keep her emotions under control for that long. Is that okay Carlisle?" I was a bit afraid he would say no that he wouldn't want me there, but that would be how I would treat myself, that wasn't the way Carlisle was, especially to his family.

"Of course, I'll tell Esme to prepare your room in the attic."

"I have a room there?" I didn't know that they'd even thought of me when they moved to Portland, but in hearing this, if I could cry I think a few tears would have escaped my eyes in this moment.

"Just because you left us, doesn't mean you aren't our son or that we'd love you any less." I could feel the sincerity of his words through the phone and it nearly knocked me flat on my back beside Naiomi.

"Thank you Carlisle, we'll be there tomorrow." I managed to say and somewhere in my haze I heard him tell me to take care of Naiomi and that he loved me; I clicked off the phone and placed my concentration back on Naiomi's feelings, taking the brunt of her pain. I could sort through my own issues later.

As I lay beside her, I tried my best to think positive about this whole situation and somehow managed to convince myself that this might all work out between her and I. _Yeah okay_.

Scrambling, I packed some of my things, probably knowing that despite not living with them and being divorced from her, Alice had stocked my closet in Portland with every article of clothing I'd probably _ever _need. I gathered Naiomi up and placed one of my black pull over cardigans on her before picking her up bridal style and carrying her out my house. I mulled over running with her for a moment, wondering if it would jostle her too much, before I apologized for the millionth time in the last twenty four hours and tucked her head beneath my chin as I took off in the direction of my car; grateful that the woods and night shielded me from being seen. We arrived across the street from where my car was parked and I checked my surroundings before stepping out of the tree line. Hastily, I put my things in the trunk of my car and reclined the passenger's seat, placing Naiomi in it and buckling her in, although I was sure that would do me no good.

Many thoughts plagued my mind as I pulled onto the highway heading towards Portland, but the one that stayed with me as I put my focus on bearing Naiomi's pain, was for me not to screw up anymore than I already had.

_If I could only be so lucky. T__he damage was already done._

Here you go. Just the usual commas, semi-colon and tense change, plus a few re-wordings :) I think it's a good chapter. Plenty of plot :)

Have got the first draft of my dissertation done now, so should be able to juggle my University work for a while now if you send any more through. I probably won't be available for most of May though, since I have a lot of work due in between the 2nd and 20th. Thought I should warn you in advance. After the 20th I'm free as a bird :)


	8. Welcome to My Life

**Chapter 7**

_Oh and life barrels on down this one way track there's _

_no goin' back that I can see. Well I can't say slow _

_down but I can't say go and I'm scared to know _

_where that will lead, oh I'm scared to know where _

_ that will lead._

"I Don't Know" by Shelly Fraley

**Naiomi-**

It felt like I was trapped in a haze. Every time I felt myself rise to the surface of it all I would be pulled back in by the torturous burn wreaking havoc throughout my body. I was sure I had died sometime last night, or was it days ago now? The amount of pain I was going through was messing with my mind; time was all a blur. In my head, I went through my daily routine over and over, not really seeing anything that led me to the state I was in now. Each time I scoured my routine there always seemed to be something looming in the background of it all, just waiting for me to remember it so all the pieces would fall together.

There were times when I thought I wouldn't have to figure it out because I could hear voices, one in particular that I know I'd heard before. But then there were other voices; voices that I didn't know, thatconfused me all over again.

"It's goin' to be alright darlin,'" the one familiar voice said multiple times throughout my haze. Then the others followed, some sounding disappointed and others sounding none-too-surprised at what was taking place.

Time passed, I _think_, and in my fog I was sure I was seeing different colors. At times I would feel immense pain and the haze I seemed to be stuck in was tinted red, and other times I felt a peace take over me, as if someone else was sharing my pain, and the vapor clouding my mind and body would merge into an ethereal white color. I was grateful for these times, they gave me a fleeting hope that I may come out of this . . . _alive_.

It was during one of these times of peace that I began to feel my chest constrict and I feared that this was going to be the end; maybe I wasn't going to live. I couldn't understand what was happening to me and no matter how hard I tried to force myself awake, it didn't work. It wasn't a dream and although I wasn't truly awake, what I was experiencing was real. Blackness seemed to consume me as the pain in my chest soared to higher levels; I could hear myself crying out but couldn't understand the words leaving my mouth. The arch of my back was painful as it raised up, trying to alleviate the severe pressure in my chest, but in that moment time seemed to stop and I could almost visualize my heart being crushed in some all-powerful vice grip, sufficiently ending my life.

The pain was over. Death had arrived.

**Jasper-**

"Carlisle, she's not moving," my voice quivered; I was sure that my venom had failed and I had successfully killed this poor unsuspecting girl.

"Give it a moment," Carlisle assured me as he watched Naiomi closely, her lifeless body seemingly resembling a ragdoll in the moment; her curls were wilder than normal and the clothing I had brought her here in had been torn over these last two days, revealing much more of her body than I'm sure she'd be comfortable with. "See if you can get a read on her thoughts, Edward." Carlisle suggested to my brother, while he continued to hover over Naiomi's head looking for any signs of life_. _

"Nothing Carlisle, perhaps . . . she wasn't strong enough to survive the change," Edward spoke softly after a few moments; I suppose he was trying to spare my feelings concerning something else I'd failed at.

"Why don't you say what you really mean Edward? That I've yet again killed someone because I couldn't control myself around humans? I'm not the masochistic golden child that you are. I'm not as strong as you," I suggested, all the while feeling his pity for me. Although I didn't have the ability to read minds, I could read his emotions well enough that I knew all these thoughts, or at least something close to them, were swimming through his mind.

"Jasper you know I wouldn't say something like that to you. Mistakes happen, I understand," Edward responded, trying to get me to believe that he didn't harbor the feelings I believed he did. I glanced at him while shaking my head. I suppose I could be feeling my own emotions more than anyone else's at the moment.

"Jasper, you know Edward cares for you and wants to see you succeed whether you're here with us or out on your own," Bella's soft voice piped up from somewhere within the room. I suppose I had been so intrigued with Naiomi, that I hadn't noticed that more of my family had come into the room to see her.

"Sure," I responded before going to kneel at Naiomi's bedside. I glanced in Bella's direction only to see that she was sitting at the window seat with Alice beside her; she looked lost in thought staring out the window.

"Jazzy, you know that's true; we all only want the best for you." Alice spoke, agreeing with Bella, but keeping her attention and gaze diverted towards the window.

"I know Alice," I responded before hanging my head to rest on Naiomi's cold and lifeless hand, trying to pull myself together. And in that moment of throwing myself and internal pity party, I felt her fingers twitch beneath my forehead.

"Carlisle, she moved," I muttered before raising my head in search of my father. Maybe I hadn't failed at all and that Naiomi would be as okay as she could be given the situation, I felt an ounce of hope.

"Are you sure?" He responded as Naiomi's fingers tightened around mine.

"Positive, she's currently crushing the bones in my hand," I grunted as her fingers dug into my hand, and as if someone had strings attached to her chest, she sat up and opened her eyes, glancing around quickly, not sure where to look as there were so many people in the room. I felt it as she began to feel claustrophobic and cornered, and before long she had her self backed into the only vacant corner of my attic room, crouched down ready for whatever attack that may come her way.

"Naiomi . . ." I began, trying to get a hold on the emotions she was feeling and manage my own. The feelings she was giving off were stronger than anything that I've felt in a while, so it wasn't too hard for her to catch me off guard.

"What?" She responded in a low hiss, her head snapping in my direction as she dug her fingertips into the wall, her crimson eyes glowed and met my own crimson orbs, made red from consuming her blood, from ending her life.

"Do you remember me?" I hedged hoping that if she focused solely on me that she would be able to at least calm down a bit and that I could jog her memory. I wish I knew more about her; maybe I would be able to gain her attention with stories about her life or _something._

"I don't know . . . where am I?" She murmured, glancing around once more and then down at her own appearance. I saw her eyes widen as she took in the frayed material that used to be her pants and my pull-over cardigan before looking back up frantically at me. I supposed now might be the cue for everyone to leave.

"Ah, everyone . . . I think Naiomi and Jasper need a minute. She's feeling a bit overwhelmed by us all being here," Edward jumped in at the appropriate moment; being the ever reliable brother that I knew him to be before my separation from the rest of the coven, knowing that I needed some time with her.

Like clockwork everyone left us alone, Carlisle included, but not before sending me a meaningful glance before shutting the door behind him. A few moments of silence ticked by before the door creaked open again and in came Alice's pale delicate hand with a pile of new clothes for Naiomi, which she set by the entrance of the door before closing it quietly.

"Naiomi, you can calm down . . . I'm not going to hurt you," I wasn't sure how much good that was going to do since I was the whole reason she was dead, but it couldn't hurt to let her know that.

"You did this to me . . . I don't remember why, but you did. You just said it,"

"No, I didn't Naiomi,"

"Yes . . . you did. You said 'I wasn't sure how much good that was going to do since I was the whole reason she was dead.' You killed me?" She half whimpered and hissed in my general direction. Her eyes were darting every which way listening to her surroundings with her new hearing ability. I could see that her features had been enhanced and although she was panicked, I had never seen her look more beautiful.

"How . . . how did you know that? I didn't—you have a gift," I muttered more to myself than her. I was a bit shocked, but not really surprised since she was a perceptive little human.

"I don't know how I know, but what _I _want to know is . . . why did you do this to me? I sort of remember you, but I don't know how I ended up here," I watched cautiously as she felt all over herself, trying to see if there was anything off about her body. There were more things off about her body than she knew, but I wasn't going to go there right now.

"Well, where do you want me to start?" I asked, settling on the edge of the bed, a safe distance from her, hoping her anxiety level would lower. I also hoped she didn't ever realize that she was strong enough to leap from the window and get away safely while I explained.

"The beginning would be nice," she hissed as she slumped against the wall and removed her fingertips from it.

"Right," I agreed before taking an unnecessary deep breath and delved into my explanation. By the time I concluded Naiomi was still in the corner, hunched forward, wringing her fingers. I didn't have anything else to say but "I'm sorry."

"I know you are, Jasper, but what sucks is that you were my friend. I understand what happened, but why? Why'd you want me so bad?" I had to smirk at her question; did she not see how amazing she is?

"Your blood is what originally called me to you, but as I got to know you I found you to be intriguing and very physically attractive. I knew that night something had been bothering you and I just thought that maybe I could use it as my chance to take your mind off whatever it was that was making so upset, darlin'. I was so… hopeful when you kissed me back and I don't know . . . I guess the gentleman in me took that moment to take leave, because I knew I should've stopped when you needed air, but instead I kept going. I tempted myself by kissing right above your pulse . . . it was beating so much quicker than normal and I could almost taste you through your skin. So sweet and warm . . .," I had to take a moment, because even that thought caused the venom to well up beneath my tongue. "Then before I knew what I was doing I bit you and I thought I wasn't going to stop until I heard you gasping. I never wanted to hurt you, well… not where it would kill you. Maybe do some ungodly things to your body in my bed, but not hurt you or kill you. And I'm so very sorry that I wasn't strong enough to keep myself from biting you and from taking your life."

"I don't know what to say Jasper, I'm so confused and my throat's burning. And . . . all these noises are so loud, and I think I can see dust particles floating through the air . . . and that's a bit much for me right now. And I really want a shower and some clothes that aren't torn. I just . . . I need some time," she rambled as she fisted her hair in her hands in frustration.

"Well, things are different for you now; I'll explain more about your change later. But right now, maybe I could help you with the burning in your throat. You're thirsty and as a newborn you'll have to deal with an insatiable thirst for a long time to come, but we can start by going hunting, if you trust me enough. I could have Bella or Alice come with us if that'll make you feel better." I suggested, feeling a bit uneasy. It was obvious she didn't trust me at all.

"Your ex-wife Alice? She's . . . she's here?"

"You remembered that?" I was astonished, of all the random things for her to remember about me, she remembered that I was divorced.

"Yeah, even though a lot of things are hazy . . . I remember."

"Well, let's go . . .," I suggested while extending my hand in her direction hoping she'd take it.

"I said I forgave you Jasper, not that I was happy that my life was over. Let's just go hunt so I can come back and maybe get my head together," she spoke while staring at my extended hand sadly.

"Alright, I understand," I nodded curtly before taking off my pull-over sweater and handing it to her to put on, so she'd be better clothed for hunting. I was hurt by what she said, but what was I to do? I'd done all this to myself; I ruined what could have been. I'd lost the only friend outside this family that I'd made on my own in a long time, even if she was my singer. From this point on she may not want to have anything to do with me.

"You haven't lost me, Jasper. I'm just trying to take this all in; I'm dead for the love of God. I have to drink blood. This is not how I imagined being nineteen to be." she grumbled, once again picking the thoughts out of my head, before shrugging her shoulders in defeat. Eventually she reached out to grab my extended sweater and placed it over her torn top.

I didn't have a better response other than the overly used 'I'm sorry' I had been saying for the last few days, so I opted to stay silent and lead the way out the room, down the stairs, and out the front door to the woods surrounding the house.

I paused for a second to double check that she was comfortable with it being just us going.

"Did you want Bella or Alice to come with us?" I asked once more. I was doing my best to be considerate.

"No . . . I don't know them. I'd rather it just be you," Naiomi mumbled before wringing her fingers nervously. I could feel her unease and as much as I wanted to feel bad that she was uneasy because of me, I was glad that she wanted me to do this with her.

"Don't be too thrilled Jasper," She harrumphed before traipsing off deeper into the woods. I suppose I would need to watch my thoughts around her too, either that or just be blunt every time I have something to say.

"Sorry, I can't help that I'm happy about it just being us doing this," I grumbled as I speed off after her, passing her and going further into the woods in the direction of the nearest beating heart. Naiomi called after me, but I didn't stop and she soon realized that she was just as fast as me, if not faster.

"Jasper, what the heck?" She grumbled as she nearly caught up to me.

"Focus on the nearest heart beats, once you hear more than one, you'll know you've reached a pack of deer or elk. Then just follow your instinct," I called to her as I veered left doing just as I told her; I took down the first elk I saw and held him down; waiting for her to arrive. Once she did, she gaped at how easy it was for me to hold a bucking full grown elk and her eyes widened at how simple it was for me to snap its neck.

"Drink, before the blood turns cold," I advised while pressing my forearm along the elk's neck.

"I don't think I can do it Jasper," she rasped as she griped her throat with her hand.

"Yes you can, or you'll eventually die . . .,"

"I'm already dead," Naiomi shot back in an icy tone, but it wasn't her tone that caused me to flinch; it was the picture that appeared in my mind when she said those words. I was able to see, from her perspective, how her life was ended. I cringed upon seeing myself from her eyes and how her feelings went from desiring my kiss to fearing me altogether.

Before I could formulate anything to say, I watched as Naiomi tentatively crouched above the carcass and brought her mouth closer to the elk's neck.

"I can't Jasper, I just can't. It smells . . . I don't know, unappetizing?"

"You have to; I'll bite it . . . you have to drink before the blood runs cold or you'll really have a nasty taste in your mouth." I said before leaning down to bite into the elk's neck; I leant back as I felt the blood rush out of its neck and into my mouth, dribbling down my chin.

"Ew," she squeaked when she saw the blood streaming down my chin.

"It's really not that bad, I could kiss you . . . you know, just so you can see how it tastes," I half-heartedly joked; I knew that would be expecting far too much from her at this point.

"Right, um . . . I'll just give it a shot," she sighed before inhaling deeply and bringing her mouth to the oozing wound in the elk's neck. I watched as her jaw muscles flexed while she drank. I also couldn't help but notice the small wrinkle that formed between her eyebrows at the taste. It took a lot to get used to, I'll admit that.

A few moments after she managed to drain the whole elk, she spoke.

"More," she rasped, while clutching her throat. "It's like that only made it worse," she groaned as she stood, already listening out for where the rest of the pack had run. "Can I . . .?" She trailed off feeling unsure if she would be able to go off on her own.

"Go ahead; I'll be right behind you." I encouraged and watched as she took off in the direction of the pack.

The afternoon continued much like this and once Naiomi announced that she was full, we headed home. To assume things would go smoothly from here was too hopeful for a situation that was nearly hopeless.

"How often do I have to kill?" Naiomi mumbled while she scrubbed a towel through her wild curls. She'd just taken a shower and changed into the clothes Alice left for her.

"Well since you're a newborn, fairly often. If not everyday then every other day,"

"Can't I, like . . . drink the blood from a cup?" She asked in a hopeful tone.

"You sound like Bella . . . she drank blood from a cup while she was pregnant," I snorted at the memory.

"I can have babies still?" Her tone turned hopeful and I immediately felt like crap because I knew the answer that followed would sufficiently make her hate me more. I couldn't catch a break.

"Yes you can drink blood from a cup if that's what you want; I'll do anything for you. And . . . ," I inhaled taking a moment and a chance, hoping that my thoughts came across clear. _Bella got pregnant when she was a human and was turned by her husband, Edward afterwards. She nearly died during child birth because Edward , he didn't know that he was able to father children until their honeymoon. This resulted in their daughter Renesmee, who you'll meet later, when you're more comfortable meeting everyone else. Um, but to answer your question about having children, as a vampire you cannot have children. _My thoughts dripped with remorse and I watched her eyes widen at what she was reading and probably seeing through my minds as visual pictures. Her face crumpled and her shoulders slumped forward, appearing to shut me out. My thoughts had delivered my message loud and clear, and I had never felt more ashamed of what I was than in this moment. I had taken more from her than she'd realized.

"I guess I never really saw myself as a mother anyway," she whispered while staring at her reflection in the mirror on the wall opposite of her.

"I'm – ,"

"Sorry, I know. Let's talk about something else. I have this tattoo of ballet shoes on my lower pelvis. I danced. I remember that. I'm a dancer and I'm a klutz; total oxymoron I know. I remember working at Shelly's. Oh my God, my job . . . Shelley! I'm so out of a job. What am I going to do? I have to call her," she rambled.

"No, you can't call her. You can't go back to your old life; you're not ready to be around humans," I said softly, trying my best not to seem like I was bossing her around, but she just couldn't go back to living in the city.

"But she's like my pseudo mother. I have to at least tell her that something's come up and that I had to leave school for the semester and I'm not sure if I'll be back anytime soon." She continued her rant. "Please, you have to let me call her. I have to let her know I'm okay," she pleaded and because I cared for her, I handed her the bag she had with her from when we went out three nights ago. I watched as her crimson eyes lit up and she launched herself at me, knocking us both to floor; the floor boards creaking under the force in which our stone bodies met the surface. "Thank you," she sighed while using her arms to push herself up to hover above me; she would have to remember that everything she did was amplified. I was sure she would make a few damages to Esme's newest home.

I watched as she rummaged through her bag and found her phone.

"Remember, no mention of being a vampire. Not that anyone would believe you," I murmured while going into the bathroom connected to the room, to wash up and change clothes. I hadn't had a moment for myself since before I'd murdered my newest victim.

After a bit I was back in the comfort of my lounger and I was yet again answering more of Naiomi's questions.

"So . . . why can I read your mind? And why can I see and send visuals?" She wondered while popping her head up from its rested position on her pillow on the window seat, to look at me. "And it happens so randomly . . . I can't control it."

"Yeah, it seems like you have Edward's gift and Renesmee's gift combined. So I suppose that would make you a telepathic tactile projector. Minus having to touch people to show them a picture, I wonder if it would be stronger with physical contact. We'll have to work on that once we speak with Carlisle tomorrow." I mused, roughly diagnosing Naiomi's power.

"Wow . . . I sound like an alien or something. So not only am I a klutzy ballet dancer, but I'm a newborn vampire that is a telepathic tactile projector. Insane," she mumbled to herself before sitting up and glancing at me. "What can you do?"

This is where I would have another problem, I was sure she would ask me if I'd ever manipulated her emotions after I confessed that I was an empath.

"First off, not every vampire has a power; it's probably closer to half or a third. I am an empath. I can control emotions."

"Did you ever manipulate my emotions when I was human?" I knew she already had the answer and was piecing together facts about how she ended up in her current predicament. "You did, didn't you?"

As she shook her head, she spoke to me, not using her voice but her thoughts and they rang loud and clear. _Get out._ I didn't argue; I just left. I had overstayed my welcome for a lifetime.

Naiomi-

It had been two weeks since the beginning of my new life, or whatever I was supposed to call this in-between state that I was now stuck with. I had gotten to know Jasper better and I managed to remember more about myself. What I hated mostly was the fact that the relationship I had with my parents was so strained before all this nonsense and now I wouldn't be able to see them for a long time, if ever again. I was glad to have remembered how to dance; I still needed my outlet even if I was perpetually nineteen for the rest of my life. I suppose I would forever deal with late teenage angst.

I was having one of those worrisome, angsty moments presently.

"What am I going to do about my apartment?" I murmured to myself as I sat in the window seat, my favorite spot, in Jasper's room; which had now become my room of sorts since he said that I could have it and that I needed my own space. He was right, I did and after finding out that the way I ended up going with him that night was because he manipulated me, I was angry. If he had kept his teeth to himself I would still be able to experience my mundane life. I even missed my insomnia, that was how much I missed just _living _and I was only two weeks into this whole mess.

"Well Bella, Rose, Esme and I could make a run to Seattle and get the rest of your things, but you know you can't live on your own just yet, it's too soon." Alice called from the door of my room. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard her standing there. I suppose I was a sucky vampire so far; I wasn't utilizing my abilities very well.

"Can't I go with you guys?" I mumbled while thinking wistfully of bringing my collection of colorful ballet shoes to my new home, if I could even call it that. I really still felt like the outsider.

"You know you can't," Alice said, before coming to sit beside me; rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"But there's like three of you and you're all stronger than me." I hedged hoping she'd cave and concede to letting me come with them. I just wanted to see my dingy one bedroom apartment one more time before I would never see it again.

"It's not safe, sorry," Alice sent a sad smile my way before leaving the room to gather Rosalie, Bella, and Esme.

I huffed as I lay back down amongst the pillows on the window seat. I had gotten to know everyone a bit and although it was still strange, but the Cullens were more family than I had ever known. They treated me like a daughter and that was more than I experienced in my own dysfunctional home. I had basically raised myself as a child, but I still regretted not speaking to my parents and going home on holidays like I should have. The only call they received was one from me, telling them I was taking a year away from school to work and travel; I hoped it would buy me some time. Now God only knows when or if I'd be able to see them again.

Besides my family issues, I had been dealing with controlling and using my powers. Being a telepathic tactile projector took a lot of getting used to. Why couldn't my ability have just been simple?

I was practicing with Edward and Renesmee since they both shared parts of my ability, they gave me all the tips they'd acquired in hopes that they would work in my favor. It was insane to work with Renesmee when I found out she was technically five years old, but had the appearance of someone who was well into their high school years. I suppose it was one of those freaky vampire things I would have to adapt to. Then again . . . it wasn't like I could have weird hybrid children anyway. Not to mention I had to really focus on not pouncing on Nessie every chance I got. I was grateful that she used her speed when I couldn't bare the scent of her blood anymore; it was too much for me to deal with sometimes.

Alice, Rose, and Esme where there for moral support when I felt like I was about to lose it and just tear my hair out of my scalp; they understood what I was feeling about having my life taken from me. I was grateful for them. Emmett played a major part in cheering me up as well, because in the last two weeks he'd made me smile more than I thought I could, considering all I wanted to do was wallow in self-pity and play the victim card. He spoke to me about life still going on, when it was technically stagnant. I would be able to do everything I wanted, but it would just take a little longer and come a bit later than I had intended it to.

Now I was trying to keep what Emmett said in mind, but simple things like not being able to go back to my apartment, because I could kill someone, got me down. I didn't want to crave blood all time, I wanted my normal life back, but I didn't even have a _life _to call normal.

_This would happen to me, _I thought while rummaging through my purse searching for anything to distract me from my negative thoughts. I stumbled across my phone, the battery on the verge of dying. It was blinking with several missed texts, calls, and voicemails that had escaped my notice when I made those frantic phone calls to my parents and Shelley two weeks ago telling her not to worry about me (I was still grateful that she said when I came back I had a job there). The calls were from a Jacob. I know my memory was still fuzzy and judging by the amount of missed calls I had, (47 calls, 28 texts, 17 voicemails, to be exact) I was close with him.

Looking through my call log, I noticed that there was a small picture of him next to his information and without thought I selected it hoping that seeing his picture would jog something in my memory. When his face was no longer pixilated to the point where his features were marred, the damn broke and I was able to remember the day I met Jacob, how he'd nearly ran me over with his gorgeous motorcycle, him playing doctor to my busted foot, our kiss, waking up in his arms that morning in his bed, and of course, the panic and obvious regret he felt for moving us there to begin with.

I frowned and did my best to quickly close my phone and toss it aside without snapping it in two. I'd already broken every door handle I'd touched in the house over the past two weeks, so I was a bit wary about handling delicate electronics such as my phone; my only connection to my old world.

I guess, I'll never know why he stopped talking to me, maybe I was a sucky kisser or maybe too wild of a sleeper or maybe I was just one of those girls, the one guys use to kill time until they get what they really want. I mean he did say we were only friends, so maybe I assumed wrong.

Evening fell and I was still in my current position in my favorite spot, when I decided it was time for me to stop being such a big mush and get up and roam the house. Maybe Alice, Esme, Bella, and Rose where back now and I would have someone to talk to about Jacob, I needed an opinion from women that have been around longer than I have. Then again, I was dead now . . . so what did it matter what happens with Jacob? He was human and I'm not anymore, my chance with him had come and gone; if I'd ever really even had a chance with someone as great as he is to begin with.

"What's wrong?" Emmett asked as I descended the stairs, following behind him into the great room where he was playing a video game with Jasper; who looked as though someone had run over his dog or shot his horse; he'd been wearing this look a lot lately, well since I told him to get out two weeks ago. We've talked since then, but the conversations where never really amicable.

"Nothing, I was just . . . missing someone," I sighed. I might as well be truthful with Emmett, because he would nag and poke at me until I gave in and told him the truth. Even though I was technically the baby of the family and the newest member, Emmett treated me like I had been around for decades. We were immediately friends.

At my admission Jasper's head popped up and he looked in my direction, but remained quiet.

"Wow, you actually remember them from before?" Emmett prodded as I plopped down next to him on the oversized plush white couch.

"Yeah, I found something in my purse that jogged my memory about him. He was amazing; I wish I could see him again," I huffed before tucking my legs beneath me and stared down at Jasper pointedly. It didn't help that he was so freaking cute, I wanted to be mad at him, not attracted to him.

In that moment, my indecisive power decided to apparently broadcast my last thought to Jasper and he perked up, a small smile gracing his lips.

_Oh brother_.

"Did I miss something?" Emmett asked while staring at the screen intently, game control in hand.

"No," Jasper responded curtly, before turning his attention back towards the screen and the military game that they were focusing on.

Emmett shrugged, too engulfed in what was taking place on the television screen to put up too much of a fuss, and let the subject go.

_Thanks_, I thought, hoping that I was directing my thoughts to the right person and watched as a few seconds later he glanced my way and gave a minute nod of his head.

Hours passed as I sat there with them, watching them play this overtly violent game and I decided that I had been subjected to enough virtual gore and decided to go in search of Carlisle in his study.

Knocking as I came to stand outside the door, he called that I was to come in.

"Naiomi, to what do I owe this visit?" Carlisle asked as he looked up from his thick medical journal as I shut the door behind me.

"Uh, I was hoping to find a book to read or maybe just to talk to you if you're not busy. I can't stand all that gore they're playing on that game," I admitted while wringing my fingers; a nervous habit I'd developed after the change. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything important," I added, doing my best to not appear rude.

"No, not at all. Take a seat. What did you want to talk about?"

"I remembered someone from before my change and I was a bit upset about it because I really liked him and I was hoping to get to know him, but something happened between us before my change and we stopped talking. I had already known Jasper before and I went out with him during that time that I wasn't speaking with the other guy. I never got the opportunity to know if we'd ever speak again or if . . .—This sucks, Carlisle . . . I didn't want this. I wanted to finish college and just _live_ . . ." I huffed, feeling my tear ducts tingle with the urge to cry, but the tears never came.

"I know young one. I wish I had the words to make you feel better about your current situation, but I know that Alice, Rose, and even my wife have spoken to you about their changes. I know you had a life before this and you have a life now, it'll just take some getting used to. I am sorry that you lost your young man,"

"He wasn't mine, I wanted him to be, but we were just good friends. Between him and Jasper, they were my only friends." I shrugged before getting up from the chair I was occupying, I needed to be alone. "Thanks for the talk Carlisle," I said sadly before heading for the door of his study.

"There's Jasper's library in the attic as well, it's in the other room. Feel free to take your mind off things there." Carlisle spoke softly as I opened his office door and closed it behind me.

Taking him up on finding the library, I dashed up the stairs quickly and found solace in the library with my head buried deep in the pages of _Frankenstein_. I'd read it many times before, but I was sure given what I was dealing with now, I would have a different take on it.

Hours ticked by and it was well into the evening when I heard Alice's tinkling laughter meshed with Bella's and Esme's, followed by Emmett's booming outburst about how tight Rosalie's jeans where. I rolled my eyes at the couple and rolled my eyes again as Edward entered the house, back from his hunt and got a in depth view from his mind's eye of him kissing Bella, _deeply._

"Do they have to be so mushy about it?" I grumbled, feeling jealous at the fact that everyone in this house, with the exception of Jasper, Alice, and myself, had significant others. Alice and Jasper's current relationship was terse, but they did their best to be friendly towards one another; I suppose divorce could do that to you.

I continued reading, captivated once again by Mary Shelley's writing as the house quieted down and everyone went about doing their own thing, I could smell Esme cooking for Nessie in the kitchen and briefly wondered how much food she intended to make, because from what I could see in her mind she was making a lot. Nessie had just gone hunting with me yesterday so she couldn't be that hungry this quickly.

Keeping my complaints to myself, I felt it was time for me to leave the library and stop being so antisocial. I made a pit stop to check my appearance in the room I was staying in, avoiding looking myself in the eye too long because the scarlet hue of my eyes was still extremely frightening for me to see. I didn't dwell on them too long, before going down to the second floor where I was accosted with the world's most horrible smell mixed with the smell of the world's most delicious elixir.

_That's . . . odd_, I thought before flying the rest of the way downstairs and finding that I heard a new voice amongst the one's I had become so accustomed to within the last few weeks; _that explained the new scent in the house_. I was surprised that I hadn't heard this new set of thoughts before I even picked up the stench.

Rounding the corner to the dining area where Nessie and our guest where eating, the stench became heavier and I still couldn't place it at all but I needed to know who or what was responsible for disturbing my senses.

"Esme, what is that smell?" I managed to squeak out as I entered the dining room, before slapping my hand across my mouth and nose. I wasn't sure if I wanted to inhale deeply or stop breathing altogether.

I watched the young man in the seat across from Nessie, turn around slowly and begin to speak.

"I get that a lot . . .," he spoke, before his eyes widened in what I could assume was disbelief. "Naiomi?" He whispered sounded dumfounded.

"Jacob . . .," I hissed feeling the urge to attack, a mixture of the scent of his stench and his blood swirled around me; playing a game with my wits. My throat burned torturously; I wanted his blood.

I felt myself backing out of the dining room and out the house before I realized I was, the wind and branches of trees whipping past my face as I pushed myself farther away from the Cullen's home; I had to get out of there or someone's blood would have been spilled.

It wouldn't have been Renesmee's.


	9. Agitation & Revelations

**Chapter 8**

**Naiomi~**

_High in the sky, the song that I'm singing_

_A sweet little lie, cry wolf cry_

_Rabbit out the hat, yes that's what I'm bringing_

_Tricks up my sleeve for noticing me. . ._

"Shark in the Water" by VV Brown

I sat beneath an elm tree in the forest, my hands buried deeply in my now tangled hair, leaning my elbows on my knees and rocking back and forth, trying my best to come up with a reason as to why I shouldn't turn around and drain the life out of Jacob.

This was all too surreal, I had resigned to giving up everything and now here I was, somewhere in Portland's vast forest, fighting against my newly acquired nature. The animal, the predator wanted to turn around and run back to the Cullen's, teeth bared, venom pooling beneath my tongue, and barge through the door straight at Jacob. I could see it now; I'd pin him to the floor and go for that muscular neck of his, enjoying how the blood would come from his jugular, shooting warm streams of crimson into my awaiting mouth. God . . .

"Argh," I groaned, realizing that my animalistic side was taking over and getting the best of me. I wouldn't be able to rein it in easily; I was a new born after all. I needed Jasper to help me right now, but I doubt he'd even know where to find me unless Alice could see me make a decision.

"Okay Naiomi, you'll be fine," I whispered aloud to myself. My voice seemed to echo off the surrounding trees and boulders. The forest was eerily quiet and I knew it was because of my presence. Animals knew to steer clear of me. I was dangerous . . .

Standing up and pacing in a circle, I thought about what I should do. The nearest shelter I knew of was the Cullen's but I just _couldn't_ go back there. I'd kill him and I didn't want to, really. I wouldn't be able to live with myself for eternity knowing that I'd killed someone I once cared about.

"There you are," Jasper broke my thought process. "I was trying to find you, but you zigzagged so many different ways on your way out here it seemed like you were trying to run out of your skin."

I turned to look at him and shrugged, continuing to pace in a circle. I had already made a groove in the ground in the shape of a circle. And the flow of venom in my mouth was relentless.

"Maybe I was," I sighed and paused to stare up at the now darkening evening sky.

"Jacob's fine, you probably couldn't hurt him if you tried," Jasper tried to soothe me while coming closer to me and grasping me by my shoulders.

"How can you say that? He's human and he's got all that blood going through him. Jasper, I could've killed him, but something in me told me to run the other way and I'm glad I listened to it." I shook myself away from his grasp and resumed my pacing, continuing to wear a hole in the forest floor.

"I'm glad you were somehow able to control yourself, but really darlin' Jacob can handle himself. He's – he's not . . . he's not human entirely." Jasper spoke softly; I suppose gauging my reaction to the information.

"What do you mean— he's not human?"

"I know you had to have smelled something funny when you got downstairs. Hell, you probably smelled him upstairs. Jacob's not all human. I don't… I don't think it's my place to tell you everything, since it's his business. Just know you couldn't hurt him,"

"He's not human. You mean to tell me I kissed him and he wasn't human. God." I murmured, trying to get a grip on all my thoughts.

"You kissed me and I'm not human. You're not human either." Jasper answered.

"Anymore! Thanks for reminding me that you manipulated me and landed me here Jasper, I appreciate it a lot. I had my humanity and you took it away from me," I seethed, traipsing away from him. I really didn't need him frustrating me right now. To think I thought I needed him to help me calm down, when all he does is rile me up. And not in the good way.

"Naiomi . . . I'm –"

"Sorry! I know, Jasper and I'm tired of hearing it!" I screeched, my voice echoed back to me immediately through the trees. I could hear his thoughts as I walked away from him. Even though he obviously felt bad for pouring salt in an already open wound, he thought that he'd never seen me look as beautiful as I did when I was mad. Boys . . .

I didn't mean to be so snappy, but there were so many things going through my head and hearing him and his thoughts weren't helping me. I needed to just shut down. I wished I could sleep because my brain could use a break.

Someone _please_ give me a break . . .

**Jacob-**

There were so many things running through my mind and I wasn't exactly sure which one I wanted to focus on first. It was all too much and not enough all at the same time.

"Esme, what's going on?" I suppose that was a good enough question to be going on with, because everything else sounded so vulgar in my mind. Like 'what the hell, Naiomi?' Did she just up and disappear to come stay with the Cullens? I refused to believe that she was a vampire . . . She wouldn't do that. I couldn't deal with losing someone else to death. I just couldn't.

"Jacob, it's not what it seems," She began in her usual motherly soft spoken tone; she knew I had a temper. Any sentence that starts "It's not what it seems" usually meant that it was exactly what it seemed like . . . except it was worse.

"Then what is it, Esme?" I muttered while pacing. I could feel my heartbeat racing and I was pretty sure that I was gonna phase within the next five minutes if someone didn't tell me something about why Naiomi was here.

"Calm down Jacob," I heard Carlisle's voice from behind me, then I felt his hand land on my shoulder. A shudder rippled through me as I fought to keep myself calm.

"Carlisle, why is she here?"

"Something's happened, Jacob. We didn't have the slightest idea you knew Naiomi." Carlisle spoke to me while watching me intently, gauging how I was going to react to that small bit of information.

"And if I hadn't known her, how would you have explained to me about another human's life being taken by the hand of someone in your coven?" I muttered, running my fingers through my hair. I didn't want to have a problem with the Cullens anymore, really I didn't. After I separated myself from Sam's pack and began my own, things were better. I felt like the Cullens and I had an understanding. I accepted the whole Bella-Edward situation simply because I didn't seem to have a choice, but now it all seemed to be happening again.

"Well, eventually when you came to visit we would have told you. You're like our son Jacob, you know that. We love you and we never really intended for this to hit so close to home with you again." Esme said, chiming in on the conversation.

"Who did it this time?" I couldn't figure out, in all my confusion, who would be the culprit.

"Jasper," Carlisle sighed before motioning with his hand that I take a seat with him at the dining room table.

I sat down, grinding my teeth and clenching my fists. I should've known it would've been Jasper. That whole empath thing he had going on was probably how he had managed to get Naiomi doped up enough on feeling good, so that he could bite her without her suspecting a thing.

"How did I miss his scent? I was around her all the time," I wondered aloud as I relaxed my hands on top of the table.

"Maybe you didn't remember his scent. You have been away from us for a long time… I don't know Jacob." Carlisle sighed. I could tell that not being able to figure out how I wasn't able to pick up on Jasper's scent bothered him a bit.

"I guess I wasn't as focused. Maybe he was more careful about touching her; I don't know." That was the only way I could figure things. Nothing else came to mind, but none of it made any sense at the moment. It could simply be down to me staying away for as long as I had. I suppose my brain tried to make me forget all the other little things that made life too complicated to think about.

"Possibly. You know we would never intentionally want to hurt you. I know Jasper feels terribly about what he's done. Naiomi and he were friends, maybe more, before this all happened . . . he blames himself." Carlisle said as Esme came up behind him and placed both her hands on his shoulders.

"More than friends? Right." I inhaled deeply taking a moment to get myself together; my heart felt like it was on fire. I guess I didn't need any other confirmation that I felt deeply for Naiomi. I wasn't even going to think about imprinting at the moment. I could feel myself on the verge of phasing. "Like he knows enough about her to like her like that…"

"She's his singer," Esme hedged as if that would make it any better.

At that confession, I could feel the tremors making their way through my body, doubling their efforts. I felt sick from holding them off. I needed to phase, but I knew if and when I did I was going to go find Jasper and tear him limb from limb, so I suppose the best thing to do would be to stay put.

"And what the hell does that mean? It's nothing like an imprint!" I yelled, slamming my hands against the table, efficiently putting a crack in the thick cherry wood. "Sorry," I murmured while staring down at Esme's expensive dining room table that I had just ruined.

"It's alright dear," Esme said, before walking past me on her way to the broom closet to clean up a few of pieces of splintered wood that had fallen on the floor. "Between you and Naiomi I'm going to have to go shopping for all new door fixtures and furniture." Esme mused, shooting a glance at Carlisle who was shaking his head at her. She disappeared into the kitchen to empty the dust pan and Carlisle and I resumed our conversation.

"I understand that an imprint is a very serious thing in your tribe Jacob, but in our existence finding a singer is serious too."

"I know, but see you guys can have more than one singer in your existence, but for us an imprint is once in a lifetime." I explained already shaking my head at myself, I was done for.

"So . . . are you saying that you've imprinted on Naiomi?" Carlisle asked while giving me a worried look.

For a moment I sat there staring at him and then I hung my head. The one thing that I wanted to avoid my whole life **may** have happened to me without me even realizing it and with someone who wasn't even _alive_ anymore. This is something that would happen to me.

Things could never be normal, not even a little bit.

I was, Jacob Black after all.


End file.
